


Polaroid

by ReeLeeV



Series: High School Sweethearts [4]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Exes, Finding each other again, Five Years Later, Hyungki rise, M/M, Post-Break Up, as always, ex lovers au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 32,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23555866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReeLeeV/pseuds/ReeLeeV
Summary: Five years have passed since Kihyun and Hyungwon have gone their separate ways. Hyungwon has gone on to be a model, and Kihyun has gone on to school and gotten a degree. Neither have spoken since Halloween of their senior year. But, when Hyungwon hears Kihyun is back in town for a visit, he knows this is his only chance to fix his passed mistakes… and he won’t let it go to waste.Continuation of 'Snapback Blues'
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Yoo Kihyun
Series: High School Sweethearts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/908667
Comments: 78
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

_ “I’m not comfortable with you and Heon being friends anymore…” _

_ “Don’t ask me to choose between you and him, Hyungwon.” _

_ “Meaning you won’t choose me?” _

_ “I refuse to be forced into something like that… I wish… I wish you could just accept that so we can move on from this.” _

_ “I think I love you too much for that, Ki.” _

_ “If we can’t even be together without this stuff getting in the way now, how is it going to be when I’m in college?” _

_ “So… now you’re not leaving me for another guy, but you’re leaving me for school. Great.” _

_ “Don’t be like that…” _

_ “I don’t really think we’d do well with long distance, Ki.” _

_ “So… you’re not even willing to try?”  _

At the part in the nightmare where the door slams shut, Hyungwon shakes himself awake. He opens his eyes slowly, looking around dazedly into the dim morning light filling his bedroom. He hesitates before sitting up, the thin sheet falling off his shoulders and leaving him and his mental scars bare. He glances behind him to find… whoever the fuck he brought home last night still asleep. He looks back towards the bit of room in front of him, and he slides out of bed to shuffle towards the bathroom.

Sometimes, when he dreams of that awful day, his mind is kind enough to concoct images of him going to the Halloween party, of him staying with Kihyun and them getting through everything. However, his dreams weren’t merciful the night before, and he got stuck with reality. He didn’t go to the movie night, he didn’t stay with Kihyun.

And he screwed up the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

He shuts the bathroom door behind him and avoids his own reflection as he starts the shower. His movements are a bit sluggish, mind bogged down with thoughts of what could have been. It’s already been five years since he graduated from high school, but sometimes it feels like no time at all has passed. He didn’t go to college, he became a model—and a good one at that. He has a pretty good life, objectively speaking. He has more than enough money, and he doesn’t have to work too terribly hard for it. He gets to hang out with his friends, and he basically has his choice of companionship on those cold, lonely nights… But, something is missing. Or  _ someone _ . He knows who, knows why, but there’s nothing he can do about it now.

He knew then it’d been a mistake, but he’d been too prideful to admit it. Now, he has to live through the consequences.

Hyungwon makes quick enough use of the shower, or as quick as he can, and he shuffles out of the bathroom with a towel and robe in just enough time to see last night’s screw getting dressed. 

“Oh—hey, babe,” the man greets, offering a smile. Hyungwon watches silently as his muscles ripple along his arms, almost distracted. But not quite. He’s never fully anything anymore. “I’ve got an early shoot, so I’ve gotta run. I’ll call you, okay?” Hyungwon manages a nod before the man smiles. He walks over to give Hyungwon a kiss on the cheek before heading out, and Hyungwon only blinks after him. He knows he won’t call, but he appreciates the thought, anyway. He shuffles over to the dresser to get out some clothes, needing something suitable for a cafe. 

However, as he digs through the top drawer, he comes across an old polaroid at the bottom. It’s him from high school, beaming from ear to ear as Kihyun kisses his cheek. The leaves are falling around them, signifying fall. Hyungwon sighs softly, the photo tearing him up inside, and he puts it back where he found it as he shuts the drawer. 

Out of sight, out of mind.

“You look tired,” Minhyuk notes, sipping at his coffee. The man in front of him hums lightly, though the sound seems somewhat forced. Recent college graduate Yoo Kihyun sips at his coffee, as well, eyes gazing out the window and watching the fall of the red and orange leaves.

“That’s why I’m here,” Kihyun admits, finally looking at Minhyuk with a tinge of a smile. “I needed a break.”

“So it’s only a visit?” Minhyuk prods, smirking as Kihyun chuckles and shakes his head.

“I… haven’t decided yet, honestly.”

Minhyuk hums at that, watching as Kihyun’s eyes drift again towards the sidewalk outside. He almost looks like he’s waiting for someone in particular to pass by, and Minhyuk has to bite back a sigh. Of course. Not that he really  _ blames _ Kihyun, or anything. It’s been over five years since the two have spoken, much less seen each other. After all, Hyungwon could pull quite the disappearing act when he wanted to.

“He’s doing okay,” Minhyuk finds himself saying, earning a look of surprise from his same-age friend. He tries for a kind smile, hoping it doesn’t come across as too patronizing. “I mean, you know… He’s a model now, he’s done well so far.” He slurps at his drink, knowing Hyungwon would hate him for saying what he will next but going for it anyway. “I’m not gonna pretend like I stand by what he did, because we both know I don’t. He was scared and stupid, just like the first time he got in his own way with you two…” He eyes Kihyun up and down, noting the same distant hurt in Kihyun’s gaze that’s in Hyungwon’s most days. “He seems to be about as close to getting over you as you are to getting over him.”

“I… don’t want him to be unhappy,” Kihyun admits softly, his gaze falling to the table. Minhyuk watches the sheepish gesture, frowning hard. This isn’t the Kihyun he knew from high school… The Kihyun he knew would be damn glad Hyungwon is suffering for his own stupidity—while still being sad, mind you. But happy all the same. This Kihyun seems to be lacking the bravado he used to have… The change makes Minhyuk immensely relieved he’s never had to go through something like this.

“Have you thought about if you want to meet up with him?” Minhyuk asks, tilting his head a bit. Kihyun shakes his head, looking again to the window. 

“It’s always been his choice, Min,” Kihyun mutters, his voice so low Minhyuk barely catches it. “I’m not forcing myself back into a life in which I’m not wanted.”

Minhyuk wants to say that Kihyun is very obviously still wanted in Hyungwon’s life, but Hyungwon is too stupid to say it. Of course… maybe if Hyungwon knew Kihyun was back in town, things might change… Though, that’d be a betrayal of confidence, right? At least, Minhyuk would assume so, anyway. Though, now that he thinks of it, Kihyun had never  _ said  _ anything about Minhyuk keeping his mouth shut about his arrival… 

Minhyuk takes another drink of his coffee, the wheels in his mind turning to figure out how to finagle a meeting between the two lovelorn idiots. If they’re too stubborn to fix this shitshow, then by god he’ll just have to do it for them.


	2. Chapter 2

Hyungwon stares ahead, not blinking despite the harsh lights flashing directly at him. He tilts his head this way, that way, keeping his expression stoic. He raises his arms above his head, dropping his head so his gaze trails to the floor. He hears some of the makeup staff make noises from the sidelines above the music blaring through the studio. The sounds take his mind back to simpler days, happier days.

“Aish,” Kihyun had said then, the affection sparkling in his eyes. He held out a hand, and Hyungwon had gladly taken it. He’d allowed himself to be pulled into Kihyun’s lap like so many other times back then, and he’d nuzzled close. Kihyun had sighed, giving him a kiss to the temple. “What did I do to deserve such a handsome boyfriend~?”

The flashing camera brings Hyungwon out of the brief memory, and he blinks distractedly as he tries to ground himself again. It’s hard to do now without a certain someone around… He hadn’t realized it before, but Kihyun had been the tether linking him to reality sometimes, and without him he’s just drifting through this indescribable haze. He drops his arms, and the cameraman tells him that’s enough for now. Hyungwon shuffles over to the crafts table, surveying the options before getting himself a small black coffee. He takes it to where his stuff is piled, sitting on the couch and sipping the beverage as he sifts through his coat pocket for his phone.

_ u’ll never guess who i saw 2day…  _

Hyungwon frowns at the cryptic text from Minhyuk, sliding it open and deciding to call his friend. Minhyuk picks up on the second ring, sighing heavily.

“I was hoping for once you’d actually just answer the text and not call me…” MInhyuk says, which only heightens Hyungwon’s interest.

“Who was it?” Hyungwon asks, his tone dull as he takes another sip. Minhyuk hums softly, and Hyungwon rolls his eyes at the older’s obvious silent insist on the dramatics.

“His… name starts with a K,” Minhyuk begins, and Hyungwon’s heart drops to his feet. But… it couldn’t be, right? After all, why would  _ he _ meet up with Minhyuk of all people? They were only friends because of Hyungwon himself. Still, the thought is enough to make his brow furrow, and he sits up so fast he almost spills his coffee. “He’s got a lisp… He used to go to school with us…”

“I swear to Christ,” Hyungwon grumbles, shaking his head, “if you’re fucking with me right now—”

“I’m not!” Minhyuk defends, and Hyungwon can almost hear the pout in his voice. “He’s back in town for a short vacay that may turn permanent, he hasn’t decided yet. He’s… revisiting old hangouts, seeing people.” A lump forms in Hyungwon’s throat, knowing he most certainly won’t be one of those people. God, what he’d say to Kihyun if he’d only listen… “He looks like he’s doing good. Kind of sad, but, you know.”

“It’s good he’s doing good,” Hyungwon mutters, his voice so faint. The words feel heavy and awkward. He honestly hadn’t thought of what might happen if he ever came back here… Of course, he didn’t exactly think any of this through back then.

“He said he’d be willing to see you,” Minhyuk says, actually making Hyungwon choke this time… which is really saying something, considering his lack of a gag reflex. “He misses you, Wonnie, I can see it in his eye! I mean, doesn’t that mean something? You’re both still so lost even though it’s been so long! You should call him, say you want to catch up. Do some big gesture thing. I don’t care, just get him to see you!”

“Min, no,” Hyungwon starts, shaking his head. He downs the rest of the coffee, ignoring how it scorches his mouth and throat, and sets the cup down on the floor beside his feet. He leans forward until his forehead is pressed to his knees, doing his best not to touch his hair. The staff would kill him. “I don’t even know if I could bring myself to see him…”

“Chae Hyungwon,” Minhyuk says, and Hyungwon has to sigh at the authoritative tone, “I have watched you through the last five years do some great things. You figured out what to do with your life, you really struck out on your own and did well! But, I’ve also seen how lost you’ve been. You don’t seem able to appreciate what you have, like it doesn’t matter to you. And, I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you couldn’t give two shits about anything you have! So, I’m trying to get you to find something—some _ one _ —you  _ do _ give two shits about.” Minhyuk exhales heavily on the other end, and Hyungwon’s doesn’t really know what to say.

“Call him or not, it’s your choice. Apparently, according to him, it’s always been your choice.”

And, with that, Minhyuk hangs up. Hyungwon listelessy drops his phone onto the space beside him, on the pile of clothes he’d worn here. He shuts his eyes tight and his head bent forward, trying to think of something else, anything else. He doesn’t want to think of possibly seeing Kihyun again, because he knows, just  _ knows _ , he’d end up asking to get back together.

And the hatred and rejection sure to be in the older’s eyes is enough to make Hyungwon’s blood run cold.

“I’m glad we got to do this,” Kihyun comments, his hands in his pockets as he glances up at the night sky. He manages a small smile, the blinking lights of the arcade behind him. Jooheon joins his side, nudging his shoulder. Kihyun glances back down from the heavens to his best friend, his smile growing naturally. It’s been a while since he’s smiled like this… but, Jooheon’s always managed to bring it out of him.

“Gunhee will join us next time, I swear,” Jooheon promises, his smile seeming to widen at mentioning his fiance’s name. “He just had this big performance thing… I’m gonna go by there once we’re done. If you wanted to come with, I’m sure he—!”

“Maybe next time,” Kihyun assures him, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Honestly I’m still pretty wiped from the trip this morning… I’m just gonna go home.” Jooheon nods, starting to walk with Kihyun to the end of the block. It’s the least he can do after beating him miserably at air hockey like he used to every time they’d come here as kids.

“Your parents doing okay?” Jooheon asks, tilting his head to the side as they walk. Kihyun hums, nodding.

“Mom’s just as doting as ever,” Kihyun reports, smirking a bit, “and retirement seems to agree with Dad. He’s got all these random projects going to keep him busy, so… they’re good.” He then seems to pause, his brow furrowing. “I’m glad you and Gun are doing so well… I’m glad you’re happy, Heon.” Jooheon beams at this, and it’s enough to make the burden in Kihyun’s chest feel a little lighter.

“I’m glad with how things turned out,” Jooheon says, sighing heavily. “I’d have liked to have skipped the messy heartbreak stuff, but…” At the mention of heartbreak, his voice drifts off, and Kihyun doesn’t bother in hiding his smirk. 

“The feeling’s mutual,” he says ruefully, glancing up at the street sign on the corner. “I’ll see you later, Heon. Tell Gunhee I said hi.” Jooheon nods, pulling Kihyun in for a hug before leaving. Kihyun hugs him back tightly, breathing deeply the cologne he’s been using since high school. The smell is enough to take him back to the easier days for the briefest of moments before they separate.

Kihyun finds himself drifting through the streets as the night goes on, not particularly wanting to go home. He passes by the park, his old high school, and soon enough he realizes he’s tracing some very familiar steps, indeed. He hadn’t even noticed before, but when he reaches the front door of the building, he recognizes it easily. Hyungwon’s apartment building, or at least the one he lived in during their days together. He’s sure the younger has moved away now, the place always having been too big for just one… 

He huffs out a long breath and dips his head down as he continues on his way, laughter from the past echoing in his mind as he feels his chest constrict in heartache. Maybe one day he’ll get to the point to where he can think of Hyungwon without so much pain… 


	3. Chapter 3

Hyungwon’s just gotten done with another shoot, his third one this week. It’s been a couple days since his phone call with Minhyuk, and he hasn’t called Kihyun up yet. He honestly just doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Kihyun would either just ignore the call or laugh at him and hang up, surely. He can’t imagine a world where the older would  _ really  _ be open to trying again at their relationship, which is all Hyungwon really wants. He just knows, if he gets another chance, he’ll be able to make up for all his past mistakes.

He’s willing to at least try, because Kihyun is all there’s ever been for him. He knows that now. But, he’d rather keep the fantasies of him and Kihyun back together in his mind and not have them tarnished by reality.

To squander his own underlying guilt in everything he does, Hyungwon goes into the cafe he used to go to a lot in high school with the group. It’s no longer near his home or anything, but the familiarity makes the trek worth it. He orders his usual americano and waits for it at the end of the counter. Though, as he turns to go to a window seat, he runs into someone he very much does not expect.

“Oh—” Kihyun says softly, eyes going so wide they look like they’re about to bulge out of his skull. Hyungwon’s eyes are probably just as if not wider, his grip on his cup tightening just enough to make the lid pop off without spilling anything. Hyungwon and Kihyun both look at it in surprise, and Hyungwon moves fast to set the cup down. 

“U-Um… how are you?” Hyungwon asks anxiously, pressing the lid back down and keeping his eyes firmly off Kihyun. He moves to the nearest table to get out of the way, watching as Kihyun almost scrambles to sit down in one of the seats. Hyungwon gulps thickly, having not meant to make this a big thing. He just tried for chitchat, but now Kihyun’s sitting down? Just great.

“I’m… okay,” Kihyun answers, seeming to hesitate. “I’m done with school and everything.” The older seems to gulp thickly, as if remembering their last conversation five years ago as clearly as Hyungwon can. “How’re you?”

“Okay,” Hyungwon replies vaguely, taking a long drink from his americano to save himself from saying too much. Kihyun’s eyes glitter in pain, and some part of Hyungwon is glad, oddly enough. He’s glad Kihyun hasn’t moved on as much as he’d envisioned him to.

“You look good,” Kihyun offers lamely, and Hyungwon realizes he actually  _ does _ look good. He’s just come from a job, so his hair and makeup is well done. He has to fight back a smile, and the effort doesn’t go unnoticed. “I-I meant healthy, not—I mean, you  _ do  _ look good that way, too. It just wasn’t what I meant.”

“Um… thanks,” Hyungwon murmurs, unsure of how to take the accidental compliment. But, at least Kihyun still finds him attractive, he supposes. That’s a tick in the win column. “You, too… in both ways.” Kihyun chuckles at this, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. Hyungwon notes and undercut, and he has to bite back a sigh. God, Kihyun had always looked  _ so _ good with an undercut… 

“Min told me you’re a model now,” Kihyun says, seeming oddly intent on pressing on this awkward as hell conversation. “I’m glad you’ve found something to do… I always… want you doing well.” Hyungwon bites his lower lip at this, unsure of how to take that. 

So, if Kihyun doesn’t have any hard feelings for him… 

“Kihyunnie, I—”

“I have to go,” Kihyun suddenly says, standing from the table so fast his chair scrapes loudly against the floor. Hyungwon blinks as if processing what had just happened. It’s almost as if Kihyun could hear the what he was about to say before he said it. The apology, the excuses. The plea for at the very least friendship. He turns, but then pauses and turns towards Hyungwon, the faintest glitter of  _ something _ in his eyes Hyungwon finds easy to recognize. Adoration mixed with sadness. “I really am glad you’re doing well, Wonnie.” His tone is faint yet thick, and Hyungwon’s heart stops at being called that nickname. He watches silently as Kihyun leaves the coffee shop, absently starting to chew on his thumb.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck  _ FUCK _ !!! What had Kihyun been thinking??? Of course, he wasn’t thinking. That’s the only explanation. Sitting down with Hyungwon, trying to talk to him?? The younger just looked so good, so much more gorgeous than Kihyun had remembered, and next thing he knew he had just… sat down. God dammit, how can it be so easy to fall back into old patterns? Letting his heart get ahead of himself like that, calling Hyungwon ‘Wonnie’ again??? 

The nickname had really been the first positive thing he had called Hyungwon back in the day, at that fateful party. He can still recall so clearly how Hyungwon had looked at him in that dark room, his pretty pink cheeks and his big eyes shaking so nervously. It had been so cute, the nickname had just slipped out. From then on, it became a symbol of how close they had become. 

Now, he supposes, it’s only a symbol of something else he’s lost… 

“Do you know where he’s staying?” Hyungwon asks as soon as he gets home and on the phone, sitting on the couch and crossing his legs. He stares at his own blank television, frowning hard. That look Kihyun had given him back at the cafe, the way he’d said his nickname… It’s got to mean something, something that gives Hyungwon more hope than he’s felt in years.

“Where who’s sta—?”

“Kihyun!” Hyungwon says, the name coming out more strangled and louder than he’d intended. He groans, wiping at his face as Minhyuk’s shocked silence on the other end begs for an explanation. “I saw him today at the old cafe we all used to go to.”

“Oh, shit,” Minhyuk comments, “hold on.” There’s muffled sounds of him getting up, the sound of a door opening and closing. “Sorry, Hyunwoo’s got some movie going. What happened at the cafe??” 

“It was awkward as fuck,” Hyungwon comments, borderline whining. “I mean, I knew it’d be awkward to see him again, but goddamn. Why didn’t you tell me he had an undercut??? That deserves a warning!” Minhyuk snickers, earning a pout from Hyungwon.

“So, now that you’ve got the awkward encounter out of the way,” Minhyuk says, “you wanna do the big gesture like I suggested?”

“Yes.”

Minhyuk sighs and pauses for a moment.

“He’s staying at his parents’ house,” Minhyuk finally reports. “Only temporarily, though. I think the longer he stays, the more he realizes he’s missed it here. He may be moving back, like I said before.”

“Perfect,” Hyungwon comments. “Thank you, Min, really. I promise this is the last time you’ll have to clean up one of my messes.”

“It better be,” Minhyuk comments dryly, “I don’t know if Kihyunnie could handle another breakup… or  _ you _ could, for that matter. Just… do it right this time. For both your sakes. Okay?”

“I won’t screw it up this time,” Hyungwon tells him, nodding firmly. He absolutely refuses to lose Kihyun again, to throw away someone that good and right for him. He’s tired of the unending heartache and the grief that’s filled his life. He wants to come back to reality, but he doesn’t want a reality without Kihyun. Kihyun was his everything, he was just too young and scared to accept it then.

Hyungwon thanks Minhyuk and hangs up the phone, already trying to figure out what to do that could possibly win Kihyun back… again.


	4. Chapter 4

“Have you looked at any apartments yet, Kihyunnie?” his mother asks, sitting with him at the kitchen table. Kihyun huffs out a soft breath, giving the woman a cautious look through his glasses. He takes the pen out of his mouth, trying to think of how best to answer this. 

“I… haven’t decided if I’m staying here long enough for an apartment, Mom,” he tells her gently, earning a disappointed sigh from the older woman. “I mean, I’d love to be closer to you and Dad, but I just don’t know if it’s the right move yet. I mean, I got a degree in  _ acting,  _ and it’s not as if there’s a lot of opportunities here for that.” 

“You could keep doing your articles,” his mother argues, waving towards his laptop. “I bet in a year you’d be running the local paper. Expanding it, even! Besides, is acting even something you want to do anymore?” Kihyun purses his lips, his gaze falling. That’s another question he’s been asking himself a lot lately… However, before he’s forced to answer, there’s a knock at the door. His mom makes as if to stand, but Kihyun gives her a gentle smile and pats her hand, silently telling her he’ll get it. He sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose under his glasses as he walks. It’s a wonder he can feel so old sometimes despite still being in his twenties.

However, when he opens the door and finds Hyungwon on the other side holding a bucket of chicken and a bouquet of bright blue forget-me-nots, he feels like he’s back in high school.

“Hyungwon…” he mutters, pursing his lips as his grip tightens on the door. He glances over his shoulder, making sure his mother hadn’t heard him. If she knew Hyungwon was here… He heaves out a breath, stepping out of the door and closing it softly behind him. He gestures towards the small coffee table on the patio, just big enough for two, and Hyungwon seems to scramble to get to it. He hits the metal chair with his leg, the loud clang echoing as Kihyun watches the younger with weary eyes.

It’s obvious from the gifts what he’s about to say. Kihyun’s had dreams of this moment, countless dreams of how Hyungwon would word it and what Kihyun would say in return. There’s versions of him throwing his arms around Hyungwon’s neck, kissing him over and over. There’s versions where he laughs in his face, throwing the flowers to the ground and stomping on them like the younger had stomped on his heart. And, right now, he doesn’t really know which way it will go.

“Kihyun,” Hyungwon begins, his voice shaking about as much as his big, pretty eyes, “I… I wasn’t going to do this, really. I was going to just let you be, but then I saw you yesterday and I just—”

“Hyungwon, I—”

“ _ Please _ ,” Hyungwon begs, “just hear me out, okay?” Kihyun breathes out a long breath through his nose, his lips still pursed and his eyes guarded. But, he remains silent, and Hyungwon nods to himself before continuing. “I know I screwed up. If I could go back and shake my stupid self out of it, I would in a heartbeat. I was just a kid and scared and… I don’t know! I feel like even then, I knew you were all there was for me, and I got  _ so _ terrified… I mean, who really expects to find their soulmate before they graduate high school??” 

Kihyun’s heart stops at the term ‘soulmate,’ having not even thought of such a word in so long. It had been the only word on his mind when Hyungwon had left him the second time, thinking of how lucky he’d been to have found such a love without even trying. He had wracked his brain for months to try and figure out what he had done before he realized it had all been Hyungwon’s problems. The first time they broke up? Sure. He could take some blame. He could’ve fought harder for Hyungwon to stay and work out their issues. But the second time…?

Memories of that stupid movie night float into the front of Kihyun’s mind as Hyungwon goes on, assuring Kihyun he’s changed and he’s learned from his mistakes, and how if Kihyun could only give him another chance he’d prove  _ this _ to be the last time. That he wouldn’t screw it up again. But, Kihyun hears it all from a distance, remembering how cold that movie night had been and how hard he had to keep himself from crying the entire night. How he had to fight the urge to run to Hyungwon’s apartment and drag his stupid face back to the party himself.

He remembers the hopeless abandon he’d felt at losing his soulmate, and he knows for certain he wouldn’t be able to live through that again. 

Kihyun looks at the flowers, chewing on the inside of his cheek. They glare at him almost mockingly, like they’re laughing at him for falling into the same stupid pattern as before. The feeling angers him, and before he knows it he’s standing and shaking his head.

“I can’t do this again,” he mutters, looking away and turning to go back into the house. “I can’t live through this routine a  _ third  _ time.”

“Kihyunnie!” Hyungwon calls after him, and Kihyun feels the younger’s hand on his wrist. He can’t help the way he flinches back, almost as if the touch had burned him. Hyungwon’s eyes shine with hurt at the reaction, but Kihyun can’t find it in himself to care much at the moment. 

“I can’t trust you enough to not leave me again, Wonnie,” Kihyun tells him, his gaze growing watery. His voice is thick with confliction. A part of him wants nothing more for this to be a happy reunion, a moment they can look back on as The Moment that set everything right in their lives again. But, that’s the fairy tale version, and reality is a much darker thing. Hyungwon shifts back, clutching the flowers tightly in his grasp. Kihyun exhales a shaky breath, reaching up to press his fingers to his eyes in an effort to keep himself together. 

“I wish I could,” Kihyun goes on, the broken honesty in his words forcing a single tear out. He laughs, though the sound is humorless, as he pulls his hands away and straightens his glasses with a sniffle. “God, if only I could… But, I just  _ can’t _ . I can’t keep making the same mistakes with you.”

“I know you have no reason to trust me, Ki,” Hyungwon tells him, his own tone downtrodden and so  _ sad _ . “I wouldn’t if I were in your shoes… But, like I said, you’ve always been all there is for me in this stupid world. I’ve done a lot of cool things in my life since you left, but it didn’t mean anything because you weren’t there to enjoy it with me.” He takes a step closer to Kihyun again, reaching up to wipe at the tear as it rolls down Kihyun’s cheek. Kihyun watches his finger, but he manages to not flinch away this time.

“I didn’t fight for you before, Kihyun, but I will now. I’ll fight for you for as long as it takes to prove that you can trust me again.” Kihyun gulps thickly, having not envisioned this scenario. He’d always thought Hyungwon would just take the rejection and wander back out of his life, but this? Hyungwon staying and  _ fighting _ for him…? Despite his own words, Kihyun can’t help but take hope from that.

Hyungwon gives him a hesitant smile, his eyes sparkling with something unreadable. He sets the gifts down on the table and walks away, head facing the sky as he walks. Kihyun watches him until he’s rounded the corner and gone. He glances up at the same sky, watching absently as two clouds drift closer and closer together until their wispy masses become one.


	5. Chapter 5

“Ho… ly… shit,” Minhyuk mutters, his eyes widening to the size of discs. Hyungwon’s gaze falls as his best friend stares at him, seemingly horrified at what he’s just admitted to doing. He should’ve just stuck to his guns. He should’ve just let Kihyun be and not have poked the sleeping bear. He should’ve just— 

“You followed your heart,” Hyunwoo offers, bringing a rueful laugh from the younger. “That’s the best thing you could’ve done.”

“I messed it all up, hyung,” Hyungwon mutters, sighing out through his nose as he rests his head against his arms. “I should’ve done something more. I could have had a skywriter write everything out in the clouds. I could have brought him a thousand roses… I don’t know, just something else, something  _ new _ .” 

“I mean,” Minhyuk says, the hesitation clear in his voice, “I’m sure the gift repeats didn’t help, but I don’t know if any gifts  _ would _ . From what he said it isn’t about what you could physically give him. He needs assurance.” 

“I know,” Hyungwon frowns, tilting his head to the side to listlessly stare at the nearby window. He covers his eyes with a hand, the soft afternoon sunlight too harsh for his current state. “I just don’t know how I can prove myself…”

“By not giving up,” Minhyuk tells him, his tone resolute. Hyungwon hums in acknowledgment. He knows that’s one way, definitely. Giving up is something he’ll never do to Kihyun again… He just hopes the older hasn’t permanently given up on him.

Kihyun sits in his room, staring at the blue forget-me-nots in silence. His lips are pursed in concentration, focusing very hard on  _ not _ thinking about the conversation he’d had with the boy who’d brought over said flowers. His mother had been surprised when he’d come in with the food and flowers and pressed him about who they were from, but he didn’t give much of an answer. After all, how’s he supposed to say who when he doesn’t know how to refer to Hyungwon now with other people? A high school nemesis turned boyfriend turned ex turned soulmate turned ex… again? No, that would require too much explaining.

Not that Kihyun’s mother knew nothing about him and Hyungwon back in the day, of course. The woman was kept about as aware as any mother is kept aware of the goings-on in her teenage son’s life. Besides, after Hyungwon had broken up with him the second time, he couldn’t be made to leave his room for anything aside from school for at least a month. He couldn’t even bring himself to go to church, which was a pretty big deal back then. So, certain things just couldn’t be missed. She had known and been there for him as much as he’d allowed her to be, but mostly he just dealt with it on his own.

He remembers the feeling of Hyungwon’s finger against his cheek brushing the tear away, and he can’t help the way he curls in on himself. If he were any less cautious, he’d have leaned into that familiar touch in a heartbeat. He’d have given Hyungwon a kiss to the lips and taken him into his arms and never let go. But, he’s learning from his past mistakes, and he can’t allow himself to fall into bad habits while he’s here… especially if he ends up staying. 

Kihyun heaves out a long breath, shaking his head at himself as he glances down at his open laptop. A list of open apartments are on his screen, all varying in rent and size and decency. He’s found a pretty good option fairly easily. The rent is cheap enough, and it’s big enough for one… His phone suddenly goes off, and he picks it up absently to see the text that’s come in.

_ Hyunnnnnggggg let’s have dinner 2morrow nightttt _

Kihyun can’t help the fond smile at Changkyun’s text, already typing out a question of what time and what restaurant. After all, he hasn’t managed to see the maknae yet, and he’d very much like to. He hesitates, though, before hitting send. He’s sure Changkyun would try to invite Hyungwon, as well… He has no ill feelings towards Hyungwon, though he doesn’t know if he really wants to  _ see  _ him right now. That confession had been a pretty heavy thing, and, if he does invite Hyungwon and he ends up not going because Kihyun’s there, Kihyun would feel guilty.

Kihyun squeezes his eyes shut against the hypotheticals filling his mind, sending the message and tossing his phone aside once more. He lies back on his bed, throwing an arm over his eyes as he tries not to think about the emotional mess this trip has turned out to be. He supposes he should’ve expected all this, but at the same time he doesn’t know how he could have. Hyungwon’s clearly changed at least enough to seek Kihyun out like this, to chance the rejection. The Hyungwon he knew wouldn’t have done all this. He’d have left things like they left them in high school and been done with it.

For Hyungwon to still try something like this, after all this time? Kihyun thinks that’s what shakes him the most… He’d always known he still had feelings for the younger, and that he always will. But, he didn’t think he could anticipate Hyungwon still having such strong feelings for him… Honestly, he thinks such an apparent fact makes their last breakup such a harder pill to swallow. If Hyungwon has always cared for him so much, then how could he just walk out on Kihyun not once, but  _ twice _ ?? And both times over incredibly stupid reasons??? 

Kihyun frowns, wondering if Changkyun’s invited Jooheon to this dinner, as well. He questions if Hyungwon is even over his jealousy of Jooheon yet, since that had been the inciting incident of their issues their last year they’d been together. He doesn’t really expect Hyungwon and Jooheon to have hashed things out in his absence… Jooheon hadn’t liked Hyungwon much for what are now obvious reasons, and Hyungwon’s jealousy of Kihyun and Jooheon’s friendship had been enough to break them up, for god’s sake. 

Well, Kihyun thinks, this will be an interesting dinner…


	6. Chapter 6

“I’m so glad you could make it, hyung!” Changkyun says, hugging Hyungwon tightly before pulling away and letting him sit down. Hyungwon smiles nervously, nodding to everyone. The core group from high school, all together again… including Kihyun. Kihyun gives him a tight smile in return, his shoulders hunched together and his lips pursed. Hyungwon gulps thickly, sitting between Hoseok and Minhyuk. Hyunwoo sits on Minhyuk’s other side, followed by Gunhee, then Jooheon, then Kihyun, and finally Changkyun and Hoseok again. 

Even with only two people between them, Hyungwon’s astonished with how Kihyun can seem so far away from him. 

“I wouldn’t miss it, Kyunnie,” Hyungwon manages to say, thanking the waiter softly as his glass of wine is poured. He feels Minhyuk patting his knee comfortingly under the table, and he gives his friend a small smile in silent gratitude. 

“It’s just been so long since we all saw each other at once,” Hoseok offers, giving everyone a gummy smile. “When we heard you and Kihyunnie were talking again, we just couldn’t pass up the opportunity!”

“We weren’t…  _ not _ talking,” Kihyun says, taking a long drink of his own wine as he seems to refuse to meet Hyungwon’s eyes. “We just… weren’t talking then.” His gaze flits to Hyungwon for only a moment as he adds, “I’ve never had any bad intentions towards him.” Hyungwon gulps thickly, clutching onto Minhyuk’s fingers under the table like they’re his lifeline. 

“You mean before or after you two got over your ridiculous sexual tension??” Minhyuk questions, his teasing tone attempting at adding some levity to the table. Hyungwon sees Minhyuk look over to Jooheon, who manages a light laugh.

“Jeez,” Jooheon adds in, “before that debate I thought you two were going to have each other poisoned or something.” Gunhee glances between Jooheon and Minhyuk, seeming to take the bait. After all, he hadn’t been there for that part of the story, no matter how normal it is to have him around now.

“Debate?” Gunhee asks, his brow furrowing. 

“Ki and Won ran for student body president just before they got together,” Jooheon explains, noticeably leaning a bit closer. “You should’ve been there… The halls were crazy with gossip for  _ weeks _ .”

“They fought a lot publicly,” Hyunwoo pipes in. “I‘m sure there's still videos out there somewhere.”

“Of course there are, I have them,” Minhyuk says. Hyungwon manages a hesitant laugh with the rest of the group at that, looking at Kihyun despite himself. Though, when he sees the wistful light in Kihyun’s eyes, he can’t help the way his own tension melts away. He stares for a moment, maybe two, before Kihyun clearly realizes they’re sharing a silent something and looks away. Hyungwon has to bite back his own disappointment at that, chewing on his lower lip as he glances at his own menu. 

“A-Anyway,” Changkyun says once the laughter dies down, and Hyungwon can feel the maknae’s eyes on him again, “it’s honestly pretty lucky this happened now. Hoseokkie and I… we’re ready to set the date!” Hyungwon’s eyes snap up at that, his own silent surprise masked by Minhyuk’s boisterous gasp and applause. Wow… first Hyunwoo and Minhyuk, now Hoseok and Changkyun… Hyungwon looks at Kihyun again, and this time Kihyun holds the stare.

He feels like they both know it should’ve been them first, if Hyungwon hadn’t have been so stupid. After all, all three couples had gotten together around the same time. Hell, they  _ all _ broke the ice and started talking to each other at the  _ same party _ . Hyungwon manages a small shrug, and Kihyun purses his lips so hard his chin wrinkles like a walnut. He looks back to the table, very visibly forcing a smile onto his face. Hyungwon watches the process, gulping thickly as he sees Kihyun making himself act a certain way. It’s something he feels like he shouldn’t see. Though, it’s something he feels like only he himself should have the privilege of seeing… 

He really couldn’t stand it if someone else ever learned so intimately how Kihyun works, what makes him tick… 

“Congratulations!” Kihyun chirps out, giving a smile just wide enough to not look pained. Changkyun and Hoseok give him big smiles, holding each other’s hands.

“We want you and Won-hyung to be the best men,” Changkyun reports. “You’ll be mine, and Hyungwon-hyung can be Hoseok’s.”

“Well, now I’m just offended,” Minhyuk interjects, playfully pouting as he folds his hands under his chin. Hoseok and Changkyun share a small laugh, and Hyungwon wonders just when the hell the couple became so in sync.

“We didn’t want you to have to plan the wedding  _ and  _ be in the procession, Minhyukkie,” Hoseok explains. Minhyuk’s eyes blow big and wide, his jaw dropping open.

“ _ Plan _ the wedding???” he borderline shrieks, and Hyungwon sees Kihyun give Minhyuk a glare. Hyungwon has to bite back a smile at seeing it, the sight almost enough to take him back to simpler times… almost. Minhyuk rolls his eyes at Kihyun’s look, raising a hand to block him out and focus solely on the happy couple. “When are you planning on having it?”

“In a month, if you can manage it,” Changkyun tells him, sounding almost breathless with excitement. Minhyuk snorts at this, waving his other hand.

“A month? Please, I can have a full ceremony ready for you in a  _ week _ .”

“A-A month is fine,” Hoseok chuckles softly, glancing to Hyungwon. “Is that okay? Did you want to be my best man?” Hyungwon’s eyes go wide, growing nervous at the notion. If he and Kihyun are both the best men then they’ll have to walk down the aisle together… 

“Of course,” Hyungwon answers, smiling a bit too brightly, “it’d be my honor!” Hoseok seems to relax at hearing this, and Hyungwon can’t help but look to Kihyun again. It’s almost as if his eyes are just drawn to the older man, like his center of gravity lies with him… He sees Kihyun’s adam’s apple bob in a nervous gulp, and he can’t help but feel oddly accomplished. Well, it seems he can still make Kihyun anxious like this, and he can somehow find hope in that.

So long as he feels something for Hyungwon other than hate, Hyungwon can have hope.


	7. Chapter 7

“You  _ sure _ you’ll have all this done in a month?” Hyungwon can’t help but ask, raising a concerned brow as he trails behind Minhyuk on the sidewalk. His friend is currently drowning in phone calls, neither of them able to get a word in edgewise before the next call comes through after he hangs up the last. He’s got fabric samples around his neck like some frilly boa, and his planning binder seems to be bursting at the seams. 

“The only thing,” Minhyuk says, resolutely hitting the decline button, “keeping me from being able to do it is a venue. I can throw everything else together like  _ that _ with my connections. A venue, though… that’s tricky.” He nods towards the shop on their right, a cute little stationary store Hyungwon had never even noticed before, and they beer into it. “But, I’m not worried. Everything will work out, it always does with these things. I’m more concerned about  _ your  _ end of it.”

“Me?” Hyungwon asks, brow furrowed. “I already have my tux picked out and approved, I’ll just need to pick it up and—”

“Not with the wedding,” Minhyuk huffs out, setting his binder on the front counter. The woman working there looks up a bit confusedly, and Minhyuk rattles off a string of words that completely go over Hyungwon’s head but sure do seem to mean a lot to the girl. “I mean with you and Ki.” 

“That’s going to take a lot more than a month,” Hyungwon tells him, his mood dropping a bit. The woman jumps out from behind the counter, Hyungwon guesses to get someone or something, and Minhyuk huffs out a breath as he looks at his friend. 

“Have you even tried talking to him?”

“You know I did,” Hyungwon scoffs, rolling his eyes defensively. “I told you, I went to his house—“

“Not what I meant,” Minhyuk tells him, wagging a finger. “I meant casually, as friends.” Hyungwon frowns, the thought not having really come to him before. Minhyuk sighs heavily, shaking his head in exasperation. “If he can learn how trustworthy you are as a friend,” Minhyuk goes on to say, “then maybe he can think of you as trustworthy as more than a friend. You two kind of skipped the friend part of it in school. This can be your chance to fix that…”

“We were friends in high school,” Hyungwon defends, pouting. Minhyuk caws out a laugh at that, earning a surprised glance from some of the other patrons inside the store. 

“You were five inches from killing each other before you two made out,” Minhyuk argues, poking Hyungwon a bit too hard on the shoulder. “You two were absolute enemies, and then you two were dating. There was no friendship step there.” Hyungwon looks to the floor in thought, trying to think of an instance where he and Kihyun had been friendly without being together to prove Minhyuk wrong. However, he can’t. 

Well, shit… He honestly can’t stand it when Minhyuk’s right sometimes. 

Kihyun’s glad to be getting out of the house, honestly. When he told his mother about Changkyun’s impending marriage, it seemed to have cranked up the “what about  _ you _ , Kihyunnie? When will  _ you _ settle down” questions tenfold. Not that he can really blame her, honestly. After all, he had always assumed he’d be the first to be married, having been the best boyfriend and husband material out there. But, now he’s starting to think that maybe it just isn’t in the cards for him… 

However, the relief he feels at shutting the door behind himself deflates when he sees who’s walking up the pathway to his door. When he sees him, Hyungwon’s steps falter. Kihyun eyes him up and down wearily, relieved to not find any gifts of affection. Kihyun holds his keys in his hands, his lips pursed.

“I, uh, was in the neighborhood,” Hyungwon manages to say finally, his tone forcibly light, “and I thought I’d stop by to say hi.”

“Uh huh,” Kihyun says, somewhat bemused by the younger’s words, “and just what were you in my neighborhood for, exactly?” The Hyungwon he knows wouldn’t live anywhere so suburban, which would imply he’s gone out of his way to be here.

“To say hi?” Hyungwon offers, shrugging a shoulder. Kihyun snorts despite himself. He shakes his head and heaves out a long breath, twirling his keys around his finger as he steps down from the porch. As he goes to his car, Hyungwon’s steps quicken to reach his side faster. “I-I’m not here to try anything, I swear,” Hyungwon goes on to say. “I won’t be trying to convince you to get back with me every time you see me.”

“What a relief,” Kihyun says dryly, keeping his eyes on the car as he unlocks it and opens the door. He starts to slide in, hoping that to be the end of it. He can only take seeing Hyungwon so much as is.

“I thought we could… hang out?” Hyungwon asks, and Kihyun actually does look at him now, only it’s like he’s grown five new heads. Hyungwon raises his hands in defense, laughing awkwardly. “Not like that! I just meant as friends…” Kihyun frowns at this, glancing down to his keys. Huh… Hyungwon wants to be friends now? But, what about all that stuff he’d said about fighting for him and Hyungwon proving himself? Is this all a part of that, or is Hyungwon opening himself up to being  _ just friends _ ? Kihyun will admit, the title brings a certain level of bitterness to his heart, but he also can’t deny the small bit of joy he gets at thinking of spending time with Hyungwon without any type of pressure for them to crack under.

“I’m going to look at apartments,” Kihyun finally says, getting into his car and turning it on to lower the passenger window. “You can come, if you want…” He doesn’t really expect Hyungwon to jump at the opportunity as much as he does, yelping out that he very much  _ does _ want to join and practically leaping into the car. 


	8. Chapter 8

“Have I said how much this sucks?” Hyungwon asks, moving a dirty, tattered rag with the tip of his shoe. He hears Kihyun sigh from down the hall, and he sticks his hands in his pockets as he looks around the battered apartment unit. The walls are bare and filled with holes, there’s a broken tv abandoned in the living room. The last tenants had clearly not tried to clean before they left judging by the layers of dirt that stir up whenever you take a step. 

“It’s cheap,” Kihyun replies, not really answering Hyungwon’s question. Hyungwon frowns, going to follow the sound of his voice down the mangy hall. He swears he feels fleas and ticks crawling into his skin the longer he’s in this apartment.

“So’s a box on the side of the road,” Hyungwon tells him, crossing his arms once he reaches the doorway of what clearly was the bedroom. A hole-filled mattress remains on the floor without any sheets, and Hyungwon can only hope the dark stains on the mattress are from age and not something else. “Really, I feel like you’d be happier with the box.”

“I don’t mind cleaning it,” Kihyun says, staring at the mattress with a distracted pout. He heaves out a breath, shaking his head as he looks around the room. “This is the third apartment, and they just keep getting worse… What kind of luck is this??” He isn’t talking to Hyungwon, exactly, more just venting. Though, he can’t help but be grateful for the younger being here with him. It’s nice to have someone here to share these horrible experiences. 

Hyungwon frowns at that, stepping further into the room to likely say something supportive. Though, as he opens his mouth to speak, his eyes flit to the floor. There’s a miniscule squeak, and next thing Kihyun knows Hyungwon’s running— _ screaming _ —out of the apartment. Kihyun blinks in confusion, looking down to the floor to see a rat about as big as his shoe scurrying nearby. Kihyun exhales a long breath, pinching the bridge of his nose as he follows Hyungwon at a much slower pace. He’s surprised to find Hyungwon not in the hall, nor near the front desk where he tells the landlord the unit just isn’t for him.

Instead, he finds Hyungwon on top of the hood of his car, his knees pulled up to his chest and his eyes shining in fear. Kihyun doesn’t bother fighting off the laugh at finding a petrified Hyungwon waiting for him, barely able to make it to the car before he falls to his knees in the parking lot. 

“ _ A rat _ ???” he questions, gasping in air as he laughs. It really shouldn’t be as funny as it is, but honestly it’s easier for Kihyun to laugh than to have to keep himself from doting on Hyungwon when he’s acting this cute. 

“A  _ giant _ rat, you ass,” Hyungwon replies, and the pout is clear in his voice. “Hell, that thing was bigger than you!!! I mean, I know that’s not saying much, but—”

“Oh my god,” Kihyun sighs out, clapping his hands together a couple times, “I cannot believe you just let a fucking rat chase you out of an entire building!” He gets out his phone, shaking his head as he points the camera towards Hyungwon. Hyungwon’s eyes widen, and he quickly scrambles down from his perch… but not before Kihyun gets the picture he wants. “Fuck, I’m  _ so  _ sending this to Minhyuk.”

“Don’t you dare!” Hyungwon pouts even harder, launching towards the phone in Kihyun’s grasp. Kihyun clicks his tongue, slipping the phone into his pocket and successfully causing Hyungwon’s hands to snap back to his person. Kihyun smirks, watching the conflicted light in Hyungwon’s eyes… Not that he’s really been meaning to  _ test _ Hyungwon during this trip, or anything, but it’s nice to see he won’t cross any boundaries. 

Maybe this whole friendship thing will work out after all… 

“I’ve got one more place on my list,” Kihyun reports, strutting proudly to the driver’s side. Hyungwon huffs out a breath and gets into the passenger’s seat, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. Kihyun snickers under his breath as he pulls out of the parking spot, really starting to love how easy it is to just be friends.

Kihyun parks, humming softly as he looks at the building through his windshield. He glances to Hyungwon, feeling a bit excited. The road is easy enough to find, and the building itself seems pretty posh. He honestly can’t believe it’s in his price range, it even looks like there’s a  _ doorman _ at the front! 

“Good first impression,” Kihyun comments, leaning around in his seat to get a better look. He doesn’t realize how close he is to Hyungwon until the younger speaks, his breath brushing against his ear and making him jump away. 

“Um,” Hyungwon mutters, chuckling nervously, “I don’t want you getting discouraged, or anything, but this is actually where I live…” 

“... Oh,” Kihyun says, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he looks up at the building again. It doesn’t really look as good as he’d thought it did moments ago.

“I mean, it’s a great building!” Hyungwon offers, his tone light. “Rent is decent, and security is good. Maintenance is also really easy to contact, so if you ever have any issues they’re there by the end of the day to help out.”

“It… wouldn’t be weird for you, though?” Kihyun asks, looking at Hyungwon carefully. “I mean, we’ll be neighbors.” 

“Friends can be neighbors,” Hyungwon replies, and Kihyun releases a small breath. That’s true, friends  _ can _ be neighbors… But, Kihyun just knows it’d be harder to not fall back on old habits if he’s this close to Hyungwon 24/7. “We’re already here,” Hyungwon tells him, already opening his door. “Look at the place, and if you like it you can even use me as a reference on the application.”

“So you want my application to be  _ denied _ , now?” Kihyun says, getting out, as well, and earning a pout from the younger again. Kihyun finds it harder not to coo when Hyungwon isn’t scared to death of a mangy rodent. 

“If you keep that up, it will be,” Hyungwon fires back. Kihyun chuckles softly, and they shut their doors simultaneously before heading towards the front door.


	9. Chapter 9

“… and this is one of the more quiet floors,” the guide reports, handing a copy of the contract over to Kihyun. “It seems the glamorous lifers like to live on the higher levels.” At that the kindly woman shoots Hyungwon a conspiratory glare, and the model chuckles softly as he rubs the back of his neck. Kihyun raises a brow at this, unable to hide his curiosity. “When this one first moved in, it was parties every other night,” she reports, her tone fond. “But, that staved off after a few weeks. It always does.”

“Life of the rich and beautiful,” Kihyun mutters distractedly, looking around the apartment. He leans his head back to look at the ceilings, his eyes tracing the floor-to-ceiling windows back down to where he is. The sun blares through the glass, and the light paint offers an almost modern appearance to the space. And also clean.  _ Very  _ clean. 

“I’ll leave you two to explore for a few minutes,” the woman says, her genial smile clear in her tone. “Come find me at the front desk if you have any questions!” She clacks her way out of the apartment, her high heels echoing in the otherwise bare apartment. Kihyun hums softly to himself, leaving the copy on the kitchen bar as he wanders towards the hall. He can feel Hyungwon’s eyes on him as he walks, and he distractedly runs his fingers over the wall. He can really see himself living here… He meanders towards the bedroom, finding an entire wall made up of floor-to-ceiling windows.

“I can’t believe something like this is in my price range,” Kihyun says to himself, chewing on the inside of his cheek. There just has to be some kind of catch, some reason why a place as well-maintained and with as good a location as this would be so cheap. He looks around the bedroom and goes into the adjoining bathroom, finding it to be as spotless as the living room area. 

“Pretty perfect, if you ask me,” Hyungwon comments, surprising Kihyun again with how close he is. He’s standing in the doorway, leaning his head against the door jam as he watches Kihyun still. Kihyun glances back towards the living room area, trying to think of something he doesn’t like about this place. Its proximity to Hyungwon isn’t the best, but wouldn’t not living somewhere because his ex does be just as bad as choosing a shittier apartment just because it's further away from his ex? Besides, if they really are to be friends now, he shouldn’t be so perturbed by the idea of being neighbors with him.

“And you’re… sure it wouldn’t be weird for us to live in the same building?” Kihyun asks, deciding to leave it up to Hyungwon. After all, Hyungwon’s the one that asked to get back together. Sure, Kihyun still isn’t over it, either, but he didn’t go as far as the younger had. Hyungwon shakes his head, his brow furrowing, and Kihyun feels somewhat silly for asking. He nods to himself, managing a hesitant smile as he goes back to the kitchen area. 

Okay, if Hyungwon says it’s alright, then he should stop trying to worry himself out of a great apartment.

“Then I guess this means, as my neighbor and friend, you wouldn’t mind helping me move in?” Kihyun teases, glancing at him over his shoulder just in time to catch the look of surprise and horror on Hyungwon’s face. He barks out a laugh at that, shaking his head fondly. Yeah, they’ll be fine like this… 

After getting Kihyun’s name on the lease and stopping by the store to get some boxes, Hyungwon drives himself home in his own vehicle after going back to Kihyun’s parents’ place. He excuses himself from dinner with reasons of an early shoot in the morning, but really he just doesn’t want to have to force himself to be too casual with Kihyun anymore. He gets back home, narrowly avoiding the prodding questions of the front desk woman who had shown Kihyun and him around. She’s nice and all, but he’s sure she’d want to know just how they know each other.

He gets to his living room just in time for his phone to start going off. He takes it out of his pocket, surprised to see their old group chat from high school being reborn. He opens the notifications that start to flood in, finding at the top of the chat a picture of himself curled up on the hood of Kihyun’s car… 

God dammit… 

_ Hahahadshhdfhasvfadhvbajvnakfd WONNIE U LOSER _

_ Wonnie u dated a rat how could 1 scare u??? _

Hyungwon heaves out a long breath at the bombardment from mainly Minhyuk, seeing only one or two supportive texts from Changkyun. He sets his phone down on the counter to find some food just as Kihyun starts to go off, firing back message after message at Minhyuk. Or, at least, he assumes they’re arguing from how much his phone vibrates. However, when he glances at it again as he pours a can of soup into a pot, he’s surprised to find Kihyun and Minhyuk both giving him shit…  _ together _ . What the hell??? Used to, Kihyun would jump at the first message to defend Hyungwon to the ends of the earth.

Hyungwon pouts, not much liking this change. He knows it’s only teasing and it doesn’t really mean anything, but he can’t help but miss the way Kihyun would fight for him instead of tease him like this… 

The next moment, Hyungwon’s phone is ringing, and he answers it without checking to see who it is.

“So, I see you followed my suggestion… again,” Minhyuk comments dryly, earning a loud exhale from Hyungwon as he sets the pot of soup on the burner. He stirs at it absently, chewing on his bottom lip.

“We went and looked at apartments today,” he reports, dropping the spoon to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “He’s moving into my building…”

“What???” Minhyuk shrieks, causing Hyungwon to roll his eyes. “Won, that’s great! He’s gonna be closer, he—”

“He’s gonna get used to having me as a friend and forget I’m in love with him,” Hyungwon blurts out, finally stating his fears of such a plan being successful. He can hear Minhyuk’s impending defense, that Hyungwon’s just being paranoid and that everything will work out, but Hyungwon doesn’t want to hear it. “Even today it was  _ so easy _ for us to be only friendly for him, but not me! I had to keep on a smile and be supportive, and all I wanted to do was hug him and kiss him and have him slam me down against that grimy mattress and—”

“Okay,” Minhyuk interjects, sighing loudly. “Look, I never said it was going to be easy. You’re used to acting a certain way with each other, and that’s okay. An adjustment is only normal.”

“But I don’t  _ want _ the adjustment,” Hyungwon whines, shaking his head. “I want my Kihyunnie back…”

“Okay, brat,” Minhyuk snaps, and Hyungwon can practically hear him roll his eyes. “You made the mistakes, and you have to face the consequences. You’ve got a long road to earning Kihyun’s trust again, so you best buckle the fuck up and get some snacks.” He pauses, and Hyungwon glances back towards his bedroom. Tonight may be one of those nights he stares at that polaroid instead of the tv… “You can make it through this, Wonnie. You just gotta believe.”

“ _ I _ do,” Hyungwon defends, “I just don’t think  _ he  _ does anymore.” 


	10. Chapter 10

Kihyun breathes out a heavy breath as he sets the last box down, resting his hands on his hips as he glances back to find Hyungwon already lounging on his couch. He purses his lips, walking until he’s directly in front of the younger. 

“That doesn’t look much like helping, dongsaeng,” he nags, his tone stern. Hyungwon rolls his eyes, waving his phone around. 

“I’m ordering takeout, I’m doing the most important thing here,” he replies. Kihyun hums, unimpressed as he grabs the hand holding the phone and directs the screen towards his own face. He doesn’t realize for how long he holds Hyungwon’s hand until he lets go—at least fifteen whole seconds—and sees the light pink dusting Hyungwon’s cheeks. 

“J-Just don’t order too much,” Kihyun tells him, turning away to hide the red on his own ears. He decides to start going through boxes, needing to busy himself. Shit, his hands are shaking like he’s a fucking teenager again. He mentally curses himself, keeping his eyes resolutely on the new task at hand. Even that kind of slip up can be monumentally dangerous…

“Hyung,” Jooheon whines from the hall, deflating against the front doorway as he pouts. Gunhee snickers and hugs him from behind, earning a cry of protest from Jooheon about them being too sweaty. He turns his attention back to Kihyun, though, and doesn’t pull away. “You really owe me for this…”

“As soon as I’m unpacked,” Kihyun tells him, forcing a bright smile, “everyone can come over and we can have dinner. I’ll need a reason to break the kitchen in, anyway.” 

“That may end up being Kkungie and Hoseok’s rehearsal dinner,” Gun comments, following behind Jooheon as he goes to sit on the couch. Hyungwon shifts to make room for them both, setting his phone down as he clearly finishes the order. He curls up around the arm of the couch, and Kihyun gets distracted with visions of past days seeing that… 

Kihyun can’t even begin to list all the times Hyungwon had talked him into afternoon naps and cuddle sessions. Kihyun had always been moving from one goal to the next, doing a favor for this school organization or volunteering at that local charity. He’d liked being active, because he’d known if he put in the groundwork then he’d be able to get into a good college. Plus, helping people had always made him feel good. Though, he hadn’t realized just how much of his own life he’d been living to do things for others until Hyungwon came around… 

The younger had taught him how to slow down and relax, and he’d learned that sometimes it’s okay to just take the afternoon off. The world wouldn’t end if he skipped out on an extracurricular every now and again. 

“Kihyun?” Jooheon asks, physically shaking Kihyun by the arm from the shadows of the past. He blinks repeatedly to get himself out of his own daze, glad to see he wasn’t staring at Hyungwon but only at the floor. Shit, when did Jooheon even stand up? He glances briefly towards Hyungwon despite himself, having to use him to find his center of gravity, as he hums softly. He struggles to bring a smile to his features when he sees the dark flicker of  _ some _ thing in Hyungwon’s eyes Kihyun can’t quite place. Jooheon’s brows wrinkle together in concern. “We were just… asking about the bachelor party? Is it gonna be one or two?” 

“Oh,” Kihyun mutters, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I haven’t decided yet…”

“I think it’d be fun to do one big one,” Hyungwon sighs, as if he didn’t notice Kihyun zoning out. He stands, stretching his arms towards the ceiling. “But, I kinda wanna leave it up to the grooms.” He looks shortly around the room as he drops his arms, looking pointedly at Kihyun. “I’m honestly not that hungry, you guys enjoy… I just want to take a shower and sleep.” 

“Are you sure?” Gunhee asks, sounding concerned. Hyungwon gives him a tight smile, looking at how Jooheon’s hand is still on Kihyun’s arm. Kihyun’s sure he knows what that flicker was now: jealousy. And he feels his own hopes over how Hyungwon has changed fall to the wayside. Clearly, he’s falling back on old habits… 

“I’m sure.”

Kihyun purses his lips as Hyungwon struts out of the apartment, closing the door softly behind himself. He huffs out a breath, rolling his eyes as he goes to sit on the couch.

“What was that about?” Jooheon muses aloud, blinking confusedly. Kihyun scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. Hyungwon going on the other day about how he’s changed and learned from his mistakes… clearly  _ not _ , if he’s still so bugged by how close Jooheon is with Kihyun! Kihyun can’t  _ believe _ , after all this time, Hyungwon is still jealous of Jooheon!!

Well, he guesses he really did dodge a bullet by not following the smidgen of hope he’d had when Hyungwon had come to his house and  _ not _ gotten back with him.

“Unbelievable,” Kihyun scoffs, rubbing at his face. Jooheon looks at him, his confusion only growing, and Kihyun can’t help how angrily he flings a hand out towards the door. Damn Hyungwon, he still makes Kihyun so  _ mad _ over this, and they only just started talking again!! 

“What—”

“After all this time, he’s  _ still _ got a stick up his ass about our friendship!!!!!”

A beat of silence passes, then another, before Jooheon bursts out laughing. Now it’s Kihyun’s turn to be confused, a pout pulling at his lips and his brow creasing together. He watches as Jooheon leans back, clapping his hands together a couple times before he straightens back up. Even Gunhee chuckles a couple times.

“I don’t know why he left, hyung, but that has nothing to do with it,” Jooheon finally explains, wiping at his eyes. “He’s been over that ever since you left.”

“... What?” Kihyun asks, his voice a bit softer now. Jooheon heaves out a breath, shaking his head as his eyes sparkle fondly at the older.

“Hyungwon apologized a couple days after you moved away,” Jooheon tells him, moving towards the couch and sitting between Gun and Kihyun. “He took me to the old cafe, and he explained how sorry he was for letting things get so messed up in the end. He said he was scared and stupid, and that was why he didn’t let himself get over the kiss for so long…”

“He even cried,” Gunhee pipes in, earning a light chuckle from his fiance.

“Oh yeah,” Jooheon agrees, shaking his head once as he keeps his teeth in a tight smile to keep from laughing. “It was an ugly cry, too…” A knock comes from the door, and Gun gets up to answer it. He returns moments later with bags of food, and Jooheon seems more than happy to take the reins on passing out food. Kihyun, however, doesn’t feel all that hungry.

Wow… if Kihyun had known all of that, things might be a bit different now.


	11. Chapter 11

Kihyun sighs softly at himself, bouncing in place to shake off his own nerves before knocking soundly on the door. He chews on the inside of his cheek as he waits, staring at the unmoving barricade and balancing on the sides of his feet. He thinks he hears a shuffle on the other side, and he purses his lips as he knocks again. Another moment passes before the door finally swings open, revealing a confused-looking Hyungwon on the other side, his hair damp and still dripping water onto his white t-shirt.

“You always make guests wait that long before you answer the door?” Kihyun teases, choosing the joking route so he doesn’t focus too much on how attractive Hyungwon is once he’s just gotten out of the shower. Hyungwon frowns, tilting his head to the side.

“You always make an ass of yourself the first time you visit someone’s home?”

“Only when I come bearing shrimp,” Kihyun snickers, holding up a takeout box. “Jumbo salted grilled shrimp… It’s one of your favorites, right? It came with the food you ordered before you left.” Hyungwon blinks once, staring at the food container as his eyebrows slowly inch their way up his forehead. 

“O-Oh… thanks,” Hyungwon says, moving to the side. Kihyun hums, stepping inside and slipping out of his shoes. He looks around the apartment from the entryway, surprised to find dishes in the sink from what he can see of the kitchen. Hyungwon closes the door and leads him further in, and Kihyun hums again as he sets the box of food on the counter.

“Nice to see you finally know what a kitchen is, apparently,” he comments, earning an eye-roll from the younger. “Now, if only you can learn what cleaning is.”

“Thanks for the shrimp, you can leave now,” Hyungwon fires back, opening the container and picking up a shrimp by the tail. He starts peeling it with his long, delicate fingers, and Kihyun finds himself a bit too distracted. He swallows thickly, blinking as he moves a bit closer despite himself. Hyungwon seems a bit surprised, though he doesn’t move away.

“Why’d you really leave before?” Kihyun asks, earning a smidgen of a pout from the younger. Hyungwon looks away, instead apparently deciding to focus on the peeling. Kihyun leans against the granite counter, watching Hyungwon carefully.

“I told you, I was tired and—”

“When you’re really tired,” Kihyun interrupts, not really in the mood to play games, “your eyes get all droopy and you start zoning out a lot. And you get a lot clingier, like you’re looking for a pillow or something. And your mouth hangs open… for some reason” Hyungwon’s eyes go wide, his fingertips digging a bit too hard in the shrimp and causing the meat to squish. He starts to blush, and Kihyun has to fight back a sigh. “I know you too well to fall for that kind of lie, Hyungwonnie… So, why did you really leave?”

“I…” Hyungwon says hesitantly, kneading his lower lip between his teeth. “I didn’t think I was being very helpful anymore, so I left.”

“Why wouldn’t you have still been helpful?” Kihyun prods on a bit confused by the answer. He tries for a joke, adding, “I could’ve made you unpack _so_ many boxes if you’d have stayed.” Hyungwon chuckles softly at that, though the ease falters and is replaced again by caution.

“You had things to do,” Hyungwon says slowly, as if choosing each of his words carefully, “and I was going to be in the way. I could tell you were thinking about… _us_. It was distracting you.” Hyungwon looks up then, his gaze pointed as he meets Kihyun’s eyes. Kihyun can’t help the blush that creeps up his neck at that.

“You could…?” 

Hyungwon hums in confirmation, blinking slowly. “The look in your eyes when you got distracted? It’s the same look I get when I think about you.” 

Kihyun gulps thickly, and it’s his turn to have to look away. Hyungwon breathes heavily, and Kihyun listens to him bite into the shrimp and chew for a minute before he speaks again. Kihyun tries not to focus too much on Hyungwon’s use of the present tense in what he says.

“W-Well,” Kihyun finally manages to say, clearing his throat as he shoves those thoughts to the side for now, “that’s better than what I thought… _I_ thought you were still jealous over Heon.” Hyungwon actually scoffs at that, rolling his eyes as he starts peeling another shrimp. 

“ _Please_.”

“I did!” Kihyun defends, relieved to feel the tension in the room lighten at his own silly assumption earlier. “I mean, I did until he told me about your heartfelt, tear-filled apology.” Hyungwon’s eyes snap wide open at that, though his expression is a blank, guarded slate when he looks at Kihyun again.

“He _what_?” 

Kihyun can’t help but laugh, humming as he sets a hand against his waist. “Oh yeah, he told me _all_ about how you dragged him out to coffee and begged and pleaded for his forgiveness for how much of a moron you had been.” Is he embellishing a bit? Definitely. Does he care? Absolutely not. Hyungwon huffs out a breath, an admittedly adorable pout pulling at his lips. 

“It didn’t… exactly go like that,” Hyungwon murmurs, popping more shrimp into his mouth and chewing a bit too aggressively. Kihyun snickers a bit more, hesitantly patting Hyungwon’s upper arm in mock consolation. When Hyungwon swallows the shrimp, the sound is loud and would be almost comical if he didn’t look at Kihyun with a heartbreaking amount of hope in his gaze. Kihyun bites the inside of his cheek so hard and fast he tastes blood, and he pulls his hand away to stuff it into his pocket.

“I should go,” he sighs, doing his best to sound casual. “I have a lot to unpack still before I can turn in for the night.” Hyungwon nods quickly, his adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps again and starts peeling another shrimp. Kihyun turns to walk towards the door, his chest feeling oddly tight. 

“I didn’t buy this shrimp earlier,” Hyungwon says as Kihyun’s leaving, causing the older’s steps to pause. Kihyun glances back at him, offering half a shrug.

“No, but I did before I came here… It’s one of your favorites.” He shows himself out after that, forcing himself to not look at the younger as he slips his shoes back on and leaves.


	12. Chapter 12

Two weeks later, Kihyun and Hyungwon are leading the rest of the group on a trip to Daegu for a joint-bachelors’ party. It’s the first time Kihyun’s left his apartment for anything fun since moving in, having been pulling extra hours at his job and trying to keep himself busy. He’s had limited interactions with his new neighbor—thankfully—and frankly, now, he’s pretty excited to go on this road trip. He and Hyungwon had discussed going somewhere a bit closer, but they had really wanted to make this as memorable as possible.

And what better way to do that than go to an outdoor arcade they had all gone to when they were kids? 

“This is so exciting!” Gunhee comments from the back of the car, scrolling on his phone. Kihyun hears Jooheon chuckle affectionately, and he glances up in the rearview mirror to see Jooheon clinging to Gunhee’s arm. 

“It’s funny,” Jooheon says, sounding almost wistful. “Before, we hadn’t even all meant to go on the same day. It just so happened to be Won-hyung’s birthday, so Minhyuk and Hoseok had brought him there when Kihyunnie, Changkyun, Hyunwoo and I had gone.”

“I was  _ pissed _ when I saw you and your cronies,” Kihyun snickers, a fond nostalgia pinching at his heart.

“Cronies??” Hyungwon demands, bursting out in an airy laugh and gripping the steering wheel a bit harder. Kihyun smiles softly, glancing out the window to hide the expression as he hums in confirmation. “You’re such a dork…” Hyungwon sighs out after sobering up a little, and Kihyun’s smile hardens a bit… The words, “but I’m your dork” hang from his tongue, but he forbids himself to say it.

“Anyway,” Jooheon continues, filling the silence Kihyun’s unspoken words leave, “this was a great idea, hyung. I think a couple days away is just what we all needed.”

“Especially Min,” Kihyun agrees. “I’m sure he’s about to keel over from all this last minute planning.”

“He thrives off panic,” Hyungwon says, waving a hand. “He’s doing just fine.” Kihyun hums again, watching the road as they drive along. He honestly can’t wait until they get to the hotel… It’s the one part of the trip he hadn’t had a hand in planning, having left that bit up to Jooheon at the younger’s offer, and he’s curious to see where they’re staying.

“ _ Shared _ rooms?” Hyungwon asks, glancing around at the group of couples he and Kihyun are in. The concierge nods, handing out only eight key cards—two per room. Hyungwon shoots Minhyuk a glare, panic clenching at his throat as he stares at the cards. He can already tell how this is going to go… and, judging by the way Kihyun’s shoulders have scrunched up, so does his ex.

“Don’t worry, you guys get separate beds,” Jooheon assures them, resting a hand on Kihyun’s shoulder. “We made sure.” Kihyun’s lips are pursed, and he’s staring at Hyungwon like this is somehow  _ his _ fault. Hyungwon frowns at the accusatory glare, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. Kihyun reaches out and gets the key cards, pocketing one and handing Hyungwon the other without looking at him. Hyungwon sees Minhyuk and Jooheon looking at each other worriedly, and his brow furrows as they get their own keys. He’ll have to have a talk with them later… 

The group makes their way to the elevator, having to split up. Hyungwon notes the tight grip Kihyun has on his suitcase, and he chews on the tip of his thumb as he racks his brain to try and get out of this somehow… While he doesn’t personally mind the thought of sharing a room with Kihyun, he’s certain the older minds. He doesn’t have to be a genius to know that much. They split off once they reach their floor, Hyungwon trailing after Kihyun at a slower pace. Kihyun misses the card slot a couple times, his hand seeming to shake before he finally gets the door open.

However, he stops in the middle of the doorway, and Hyungwon can tell then and there he doesn’t like what he sees. Hyungwon chances a couple steps closer, doing his best to not set off the older, and he can’t help the sharp gasp that escapes him at what he sees. 

A single queen-sized bed.

“ _Absolutely_ _not_.”

Kihyun leaves his bag and charges his way back to the elevator, leaving Hyungwon standing in the hall and feeling like an absolute idiot. He glares upwards in Minhyuk and Jooheon’s general directions two floors above him. He knows they were just trying to help, but seriously? Trying to  _ trap _ them together??? When has  _ that _ ever helped anyone??

Hyungwon heaves out a long breath, shaking his head as he takes Kihyun’s bag with him into the room. He sits at the desk chair, leaning back and turning his head towards the ceiling. He spins around a bit, closing his eyes as he waits for Kihyun to come back. Well, he guesses he’ll have his own room now, for sure… Sharing a room is one thing, but sharing a bed? Understandably, that’s the last straw. Hyungwon sighs, his heart aching as he stares at the single bed. He finds himself yearning for a day when Kihyun wouldn’t lose his shit over something like this as he crawls out of the chair and into the bed, burying his face in the pillows… It’ll be faster if he finds a time like that in his dreams.

“I’ll pay for my own damn room if I have to,” Kihyun says, slamming his hands down against the front counter. “Hell, I’ll bribe someone to bring in an extra from another room!! I just can _ not _ share a bed.” The concierge looks at Kihyun blankly, a perfect customer-service smile pasted on his features despite the absolute lack of caring in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, sir,” the older man says, “but we don’t have any extra beds that can be carted into the room, nor do we have any extra rooms available.”

“Not a  _ single _ extra bed in this forty-story hotel?” Kihyun asks, unable to believe his luck. Or lack thereof, he supposes. The concierge only hums and nods his head, that insipid smile still on his face, and Kihyun heaves out a long breath. He pinches at the bridge of his nose as he turns away, wondering if it’d be too much to stay at a different hotel… Maybe he could just buy a mattress and sneak it into the room…? Of course, he’d probably be kicked out if he tried, and then he’d  _ have _ to stay at a different hotel… 

Well, that would certainly solve the issue.

Kihyun shakes his head at himself as he wanders back to the elevator. Maybe he could just sleep on the floor? He wouldn’t mind it, since it's carpeted. He could just request some extra blankets from room service, and then he’d be set! He gets onto the elevator and watches as the numbers climb up higher and higher, taking him closer and closer to the room that will surely be the death of him. He scowls, remembering the looks on Minhyuk and Jooheon’s faces when they’d been given their room keys. Of course they fucking planned this, and Hyungwon was probably in on it, too. All to get back together… 

The elevator dings and Kihyun gets off, his hands in his pockets as he walks. He manages to get the keycard in the slot the first try this time, pushing the door open with his shoulder. He’s already got the beginning of his tirade on the tip of his tongue, just ready to pour out and slam right into the lanky son of a bitch who… is currently fast asleep. On the only bed.

Hyungwon’s face is blank, not a worry etched into it and making him seem so much younger. Kihyun’s face twists in pain, and he tries to ignore how his entire body turns to mush at the sight. A clump of emotion sticks in the middle of his throat, and he gulps thickly as he closes the door softly behind himself. He steps carefully, eyes weary and stuck on the young man stretched out on the bed. He looks at his phone, noting they’ve gotten here way earlier than Kihyun had anticipated. They’re all supposed to meet up at dinner, but there’s nothing planned for everyone before that. Plus, the drive had been so long, and that bed does look pretty comfy… 

Kihyun finds himself lying down before he can stop himself, pulling a pillow Hyungwon isn’t using towards his own head to curl around. His eyelids feel heavier and heavier as his body relaxes against the mattress, and he finds himself staring at Hyungwon’s sleeping form as he drifts off… 


	13. Chapter 13

Hyungwon’s awoken by an obnoxious banging noise, and he can’t help but whine at how suddenly it scares him into consciousness. He curls up around his pillows, huffing out a sigh through his nose. He can’t be too bothered right now, too comfy and warm. He feels movement beneath him, and there’s a soft hum that rings so sweetly in his ears. One of his pillows slips from his grasp, and he feels a little dizzy despite still not having opened his eyes. He feels colder now, and he frowns as he snuggles closer to what pillows haven’t left him to try and compensate.

“Hyung?” Jooheon’s voice sounds muffled as it calls, and Hyungwon finally opens his eyes. Jooheon? His vision slowly comes into focus, finding Kihyun sitting on the edge of the bed, his clothes rumpled and his hair askew. He finds himself smiling before he can stop himself, and he closes his eyes again. He must still be dreaming.

He feels the mattress shift when Kihyun stands, and there’s some slight shuffling before he hears the door open.

“Hyung, we’re about to be late for dinner,” Jooheon reports, and Kihyun curses a bit too loud. Hyungwon opens his eyes, pouting as he shifts onto his other side to watch.

“I should’ve set an alarm…” Kihyun mutters, barely audible as he stares at his phone. He leaves the door open, motioning for Jooheon to come in, and Hyungwon lets his eyes fall back shut. He doesn’t care about dinner, he just wants to take more naps with his Kihyunnie. This dream is starting to go south, so maybe if he pretends to sleep more it’ll get good again. He feels Kihyun grow closer, and there’s a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Hyungwon…!” Kihyun calls to him softly, and Hyungwon can feel his breath on his cheek. “Hyungwonnie, you need to get up!” He feels another hand on him, and now he’s being maneuvered into an upright position. He whines, his head falling against something firm. He hears a faint, quickening heartbeat, and he can smell Kihyun’s cologne. Oh yeah, definitely a good dream again. “We’ll be down in twenty mintues,” Kihyun says, his voice not facing Hyungwon anymore. “If you can’t wait for us, go on and we’ll catch up.” Hyungwon hears the door shut again, and he feels Kihyun’s breath wash over him in a sigh.

“I know you’re tired, Wonnie,” Kihyun murmurs, and Hyungwon feels the older sit down behind him, “but I need you to wake up. You can sleep more after dinner, okay?” Kihyun’s hands slide around his shoulders and start kneading at his muscles, slowly coaxing them awake. Hyungwon hums thickly, letting his head fall forward as he opens his eyes again. He stares at the bedsheets as they come into focus, blinking slowly. Kihyun’s fingers press at all the right pressure points, and the most fragile of sounds slips from Hyungwon’s lips as he lifts his head.

“I like it when you call me Wonnie,” Hyungwon mumbles, lifting a hand to rub at his eyes. He pouts, having not realized he’s spoken until Kihyun’s massage stops and his fingers are running through Hyungwon’s hair ever so gently. Hyungwon’s eyes then burst open fully, everything finally slamming into him. He and Kihyun had napped together, and Kihyun had woken him up so gently… Just like the old days.

“You need to get changed,” Kihyun tells him softly, standing once more. Hyungwon watches the older as he moves, and it seems he has mercifully decided to ignore Hyungwon’s confession. Hyungwon nods and gets up, gulping thickly as he stumbles off the bed and towards his suitcase. He avoids Kihyun’s gaze as he escapes into the bathroom for some privacy, gripping onto the counter as he exhales a long breath. He looks at his own reflection, trying not to think of how much fire he’s playing with right now.

“ _ Sleeping _ together??” Minhyuk demands, pulling Jooheon close by the front of his shirt. He stares at him a bit like a maniac, eyes wild and energy practically pulsing off him. Jooheon rolls his eyes, grasping onto Minhyuk’s wrists and squeezing until the older lets go. Jooheon straightens the wrinkles out of his shirt, shaking his head. He can only  _ hope _ Kihyun and Hyungwon joins them all in the next twenty minutes. 

“ _ Napping _ together,” Jooheon corrects him. “I think they were, anyway. That’s what it looked like.”

“Why would they nap together if there were two beds?” Changkyun presses, his eyes adorably hopeful as Hoseok hugs him from behind. “Does this mean they’re back together?”

“No,” Minhyuk says immediately, cutting off Jooheon’s answer. “Won would’ve told me the  _ second _ Ki took him back if it happened.”

“I don’t know,” Jooheon says, raising his hands in silent defense. “All I know is Kihyunnie had obviously just woken up, and Hyungwon was still asleep, and there was only one bed.”

“And there was only  _ one bed _ ????” Minhyuk outright shrieks, drawing some strangers’ eyes their way. Hyunwoo sets a hand on Minhyuk’s shoulder as if in silent reminder they’re somewhere public, and Minhyuk shoots him a sheepish smile before he returns his attention back to Jooheon. Jooheon nods, confirming what he’d just said, and Minhyuk hums loudly in his throat. “Well, that’s a turn of events… Almost like fate, right?”

“Or something,” Jooheon shrugs, looping an arm around Gunhee’s shoulders distractedly. “Are you sure this wasn’t too much for them? I mean, going on a trip together is one thing, but then springing it on them that they’re sharing a room together? It just feels—?”

“I am  _ not  _ resting until  _ these _ two get married in the most perfect wedding ever,” Minhyuk says, gesturing towards Hoseok and Changkyun, “and until  _ those  _ two,” he adds, waving up towards the floors above them, “get back together. We all deserve to be happy, and by god if we’re all not going to get it ourselves, I’m going to help.”

“So you  _ did _ request for the room to have one bed?” Jooheon prods, honestly unsure one way or the other. He knows Minhyuk will do anything to reach a goal, including meddling beyond where he should to make it happen, but he didn’t think Minhyuk would be so impulsive as to do something so risky. Minhyuk scoffs, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

“That wasn’t me,” Minhyuk answers, leaning his head against Hyunwoo’s shoulder naturally as he glances towards the elevators. “I’m not hellbent on dying young. Like I said, it must be fate or something. Unless you…?”

“Are you crazy?” Jooheon asks, earning a snicker from the older. “Kihyunnie would flay me alive if I had done something like that and he’d found out.”

“So fate it is,” Hoseok pipes in, his tone almost dreamy. Jooheon looks at him, seeing the stars in his eyes, and he can’t help the chuckle that escapes his lips. Wow… if only another hyung of his was so positive towards the notion of love… 


	14. Chapter 14

After Kihyun and Hyungwon narrowly make it downstairs in time to leave with the group, they all make their way to a local diner. It’s a retro-theme, western-style place, and they all squish together at the biggest booth available. The couples all sit next to each other, leaving Kihyun and Hyungwon scrunched on the end. Hyungwon is admittedly halfway in Kihyun’s lap, but neither complain. It’s a necessity, Kihyun supposes. Friends can sit too close to each other if it’s a necessity. Friends can also give each other massages to help the other wake up after cuddling together in their sleep… and have whispered moments of vulnerability about old nicknames… 

Yeah, Kihyun’s really just out here ignoring all the signs. It’s easier this way, though. Sure, it may be breaking his heart to have these small moments with Hyungwon bit by bit, but it’s only because he knows he still can’t trust him. Fool him once, shame on you. Fool him twice, shame on him. Fool him three times…? Kihyun will have to move out of the country to forget about him, at the very least.

After dinner, they go to the open-air arcade from their pasts. Kihyun has a camcorder, policing everyone and being especially naggy for such a fun outing. Hyungwon knows why, thinks it to be pretty typical of the older to be processing whatever the hell it was that had just happened to them in the room before they’d left. If asked, Hyungwon will just blame it on being half asleep. Of course, he doesn’t know what Kihyun’s excuse would be. That it was the quickest way he’d known to awaken Hyungwon? That could be acceptable, but Hyungwon feels like there’s more to it than that.

They play baseball in teams, Kihyun and Hyungwon being put on the same team and losing because of Hyungwon missing practically every ball. He proves himself when playing basketball, though. As he makes hoop after hoop, he can feel Kihyun’s eyes on him, and he hears the distracted responses Kihyun gives Minhyuk when Min asks if he can borrow some change to play one of those test of strength games. 

“First round is on the losing team!” Jooheon cheers, pumping a fist into the air as he leans against Gunhee as they leave the arcade. Kihyun snickers under his breath, seeming a bit more at ease than when they had first gotten here. Hyungwon eases a bit himself, remembering when they were teenagers and had run into each other here. He watches absently as Gunhee wraps an arm around Jooheon’s waist before glancing towards Hyunwoo—who’s currently giving Minhyuk a piggyback ride. Hyungwon chews on his lower lip, his eyes falling.

Being around their happy friends just makes his own situation so much more painful… He actually finds himself actually grateful the trip is only until tomorrow.

He follows the group out of the open-air arcade and back into the two cars they have to split themselves amongst, sliding into the drivers’ side of his own car and waiting for Kihyun to give him directions to the club they’re going to.

A short while later, the boys are sitting around a large booth and placing their first order. Kihyun tells the waitress to put everything on a tab and to open it with his card, pulling the piece of plastic out. The group gives a long “oooooo” at that, Changkyun looking over at him and seeming entirely impressed.

“Young flexer~” Changkyun says mocking, though Kihyun is now determined to be in the best of moods for the happy couple after feeling weird all during the arcade, and he shoots the maknae a smirk.

“Young flexer, come on,” Kihyun replies, earning a round of laughter from his friends. He gives them an impish smile, forcing himself not to throw Hyungwon a look. Every time he looks at the younger, he just can’t stop thinking about how softly Hyungwon had spoken, how honestly. He can’t believe he’s in this situation. THe more time he spends with Hyungwon, the more he wants to get back together with him. But, he just isn’t still if he should trust Hyungwon to not run away again. Sure, they’re older now and things have changed,  _ and _ the fact Hyungwon had apologized to Jooheon is a very good sign, but… there’s just something else holding Kihyun back, and he can’t quite name it.

“Let’s dance, losers,” Minhyuk says, standing with a single clap. Hyunwoo chuckles warmly and follows his husband to the dance floor. Hoseok waves Kihyun off when he glances at him questioningly, seeming quite content in the booth with his arm around Changkyun’s shoulders. Kihyun shrugs, going with the rest of them. However, upon reaching the dance floor, Kihyun realizes his mistake. Gunhee and Jooheon have split off, leaving Hyungwon and Kihyun alone. 

Hyungwon is chewing on his lower lip, not meeting Kihyun’s eyes and very much seeming like a lost wallflower at his first school dance. The sight is admittedly pretty damn adorable, and Kihyun only wishes he had waited for the first round to get to the table before he offers out a hand for Hyungwon to take. He tries for a smile, his heart clawing its way into his throat.

… If Hyungwon can let down his defenses around Kihyun after everything like he had earlier, maybe it’s time Kihyun do the same.

Hyungwon glances between Kihyun’s smile and his hand, seeming to hesitate before taking it. Kihyun can’t help the way his smile brightens as he grasps the younger’s fingers and pulls him closer, his throat constricting at how familiar it is to have Hyungwon so close. Hyungwon’s cheeks blush a deep red, though later Kihyun will let Hyungwon use the excuse of the flashing neon lights and the heat of the dancefloor. He slips his hands down slowly, hoping he isn’t going too far as he rests his hands on Hyungwon’s hips and starts to guide him to the EDM beat. 

It feels as if it’s only them at Kihyun’s party celebrating having won the student presidency once again, sitting in his dark bedroom and listening to the music as it beats and thrives beneath their feet as the party rages on below. Kihyun can swear he’s just called a truce between their rivalry, and Hyungwon has just slipped up and said that he’d like to be b—friends, just friends. Kihyun doesn’t know how long they sway to the haphazard, shifting beat in the club, staring into Hyungwon’s eyes and being transported back to that fateful night.

That night wasn’t the night of their first kiss, their first date, their first anything. But, it was the most important night in Kihyun’s life, because it was the first time he had let his guard down with Hyungwon and allowed all this mess to start in the first place. This chaotic, beautiful, painful, magical mess called love… 

Shit, that’s right. Kihyun loves Hyungwon still… even though he’s come to not allow himself to admit it during their time apart. Though, he’ll admit, at moments like these it’s  _ really _ fucking hard to deny.

Before Kihyun realizes, he’s leaning closer and closer to Hyungwon, his eyes glued to his soft, thick, pillowy lips. He wonders if Hyungwon still tastes as sweet as he did back in school, or if their years apart from each other had changed his entire body chemistry to something more bitter. But, then, Kihyun realizes what he’s doing, how he’s thinking, and he puts the hard brakes on. He can’t breathe, muttering a faint apology before pulling back and scurrying the hell out of there. He slides back into the booth, ignoring Hoseok and Changkyun’s demanding glares. He’s sure they noticed what was about to happen, he’s sure everyone in the damn club had seen.

The drinks come shortly after, and Kihyun downs his entire one before pulling out his wallet. He chances a look back to Hyungwon, feeling a bit of delayed surprise at having not been followed. Though, when he sees Hyungwon dancing with another man, he can see why… 

“I’m not feeling well,” Kihyun says, his tone acidic as he throws some cash down on the table for a tip. He doesn’t wait for a response before heading out, hailing a taxi to get back to the hotel. He doesn’t realize he’s glaring until he’s caught one and sees his own reflection. The bitterness and borderline hatred in his gaze startles him, and he swallows thickly as he slumps down in the seat.

He supposes one thing’s for sure now… If he’s going to be this jealous over Hyungwon dancing with another man, he doesn’t think he has a right in denying the younger anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

Hyungwon doesn’t know the name of the man he goes home with that night, doesn’t bother even asking. The stranger asks for his name, but he only gives a fake one. He follows his big hands and allows his body to be guided through the songs, one after another after another. He dances, he drinks, he makes out with, and he gets fucked by this stranger into the wee hours of morning. He’s completely lost track of his friends and time, but he doesn’t lose track of Kihyun.

All night he works as hard as he can to forget what had almost been, to ignore the bitter pain filling the pit of his stomach at the thought of Kihyun almost kissing him while looking at him like he had. But, he just can’t seem able to. Used to, before Kihyun had moved back, such tactics would work for a night or two. He’d party, and therefore he’d forget. Sure, once the hype and haze had worn off he’d remember how alone he was again, but he’d managed to lose his thoughts of Kihyun for a short while, and that was enough.

However, it seems being in the same town with the older just makes things all the more difficult.

He honestly couldn’t believe his luck while it was happening. Looking back on it, maybe he shouldn’t have gone out to the dancefloor at all. But, dammit, he’d  _ wanted _ to dance, and with Kihyun??? He never thought he’d get such a privilege again, but he sure did and then just wasted it. He shouldn’t have let Kihyun go back to the table. He should’ve grabbed the older by the hand and kissed him then and there, reminded him of what he was so clearly missing. But, he didn’t. He let Kihyun leave, and so he let himself try to forget about Kihyun again.

Though, when he begins his walk of shame back to the hotel, he regrets it all—and not just because of the hangover.

Hyungwon sighs at himself as he enters the hotel, rubbing at his eyes as he tries not to think of how much he’s screwed himself over this time. What a way to prove himself to his soulmate, by dancing with and sleeping with another man… He guesses all bets are off now, and in the fight that’s bound to happen he’ll just point out how it’s all Kihyun’s fault for leaving in the first place. But, what if Kihyun doesn’t fight him…? What if he walks into the hotel room and Kihyun is sleeping soundly, having not realized Hyungwon had stayed out all night? Then, Hyungwon supposes he’d know once and for all that Kihyun is over him.

He’s so distracted by the hypothetical that he doesn’t realize he’s already made his way to the elevator, pressed the button for his floor, and gotten off until he’s at the door to his and Kihyun’s room. He gulps thickly, nearly missing the card slot before he unlocks the door and pushes it open slowly.

He doesn’t know if he’s relieved or disappointed to find Kihyun awake, sitting cross-legged on their bed in shorts and a long t-shirt and staring off into nothing. When he closes the door, he almost wishes he had gone back out into the hall when he sees the light in Kihyun’s eyes: rage, jealousy, and heartbreak. 

“Ki,” Hyungwon starts, feeling desperate as he steps forward, “I—” 

“Is  _ this _ really how you’re trying to prove yourself to me???” Kihyun demands, the rage overtaking his voice and making it shake. Hyungwon sees the bags under his eyes, how red his pupils are… Fuck, had he been crying all night? “By going off and sleeping with some rando you see on a dancefloor????” Hyungwon’s mouth flaps open and closed, too tired and too hungover to formulate a response fast enough. He’s angry at himself for making Kihyun so upset and possibly screwing things up again, but you know what? He’s angrier at Kihyun.

“Then you should’ve just kissed me yourself and avoided all this,” Hyungwon spits out, scowling and crossing his arms over his chest. Kihyun scoffs at that, standing and stepping closer to the younger. 

“That’s  _ real _ fucking mature,” Kihyun snaps, crossing his arms, as well. “Just trying to get back at me for not kissing you????  _ REALLY _ ????”

“LIKE WHAT YOU’RE DOING IS  _ MATURE _ ??” Hyungwon fires back, causing Kihyun to visibly flinch. “I  _ KNOW  _ you want to be back with me, Ki, just as much as I want to be back with you!!! We  _ belong _ with each other, god dammit!” He huffs out a long breath, shaking his head as he adds, “I only went with him because you pulled away! You  _ really _ think I wanted to go home with him when you were  _ right there _ ???” 

“So now you’re  _ punishing _ me because I’m saying no?”

“I was coping with the fact my soulmate doesn’t want to be with me!” Hyungwon explains, his voice growing so strained with desperation it hurts to speak. 

“STOP SAYING WE’RE SOULMATES!!!” Kihyun borderline shrieks, the petrified panic shining clear through the muddled emotions in his eyes. Hyungwon’s gaze narrows, his mouth dropping open in a moment of clarity… So,  _ that’s _ why he’d pulled away last night.

“Ironic,” Hyungwon says dryly despite the soft nature to his voice. “We’re in this whole mess in the first place because I was scared, but now you’re keeping us in it because you are.” Kihyun’s lips purse hard at that, and he exhales a sharp breath of indignation.

“I have no assurance you’re not going to leave me again,” Kihyun admits, his voice hardened by five years of grief as his eyes fall to the floor, “and I can’t take losing you a third time. If it happens again, I can’t keep you in my life, even as a friend. It hurts enough seeing you now… I’d rather have you like this, without taking the chance.”

“You used to not be so scared of taking chances,” Hyungwon notes, moving a step closer. He tilts his head to the side, kneading his lower lip between his teeth. “What happened?” he asks, though he knows what happened. 

“You,” Kihyun answers easily, confirming Hyungwon’s suspicions. The pang of guilt makes it harder for Hyungwon to breathe. But, he pushes it aside and focuses on the anger still burning in his chest. It’s easier to deal with, at this point.

“You’re not better than I was,” Hyungwon grumbles, oddly relieved to see the fiery indignation spark again in the older’s eyes. He can’t handle seeing how much he’d broken him. “Running away from the best thing that’s ever happened to you because you’re scared??? That’s literally what I did in high school!” He shakes his head, not meaning the last word as it falls from his lips but not stopping it anyway. “Pathetic.”

“You’re  _ really _ that desperate to see us back together???” Kihyun demands, his arms dropping and his hands clenching into fists at his sides. “Calling me  _ pathetic _ ???” 

“Yeah!” Hyungwon yells, and for some reason this feels like a breakthrough. Well, at the very least, he and Kihyun aren’t walking on eggshells around each other. Maybe they aren’t meant to be friends, or lovers. Only enemies. After all, there has to be a reason it’s so much easier to argue with him than anything else. But, then, Hyungwon sees the shift in Kihyun’s eyes, something exasperated yet oddly hopeful.

“Yeah?” Kihyun asks, and his tone is almost daring. Hyungwon feels the hope now, too, smirking a little despite the situation.

“Yeah!!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!!”

And next thing he knows, Kihyun’s holding his face in his hands and kissing the air right out of him. Hyungwon whines wantonly against the kiss despite himself, feeling everything inside him click to on again. His knees go weak, and Kihyun roughly pushes him back until his legs hit the bed. They fall onto the sheets in a tangled mess, still kissing.

Both men’s guards fall in the early morning light, leaving them as bare as they need to be to prove how much they truly need each other.


	16. Chapter 16

Kihyun stirs awake with a sharp inhale a few hours later, opening his eyes to find Hyungwon curled up on his chest. Kihyun sighs, lifting a hand to rub at his eyes and find wherever the hell his glasses had gone in all that mess. He looks at his phone, glad to see they still have a little bit before they’re all supposed to check out and head home. Hyungwon hums softly in his sleep, snuggling closer, and Kihyun can’t help how he cards his fingers instinctively through Hyungwon’s hair. He looks around for a shirt or a pair of underwear to put on, the hotel room a bit too cold to be walking around nude in. However, Hyungwon stirs again, and the younger’s thin arms tighten around his waist.

“You’re  _ so _ not allowed to leave this bed for the next ten to twenty years,” Hyungwon mumbles, his eyes still closed. Kihyun can’t help how he laughs, so light and free and loving, and Hyungwon finally opens his big doe eyes. Kihyun’s a bit breathless at how prettily they sparkle, and he finds himself kissing Hyungwon before he can keep himself from doing so. Hyungwon hums into the kiss, and Kihyun feels the younger loop his arms around his neck.

“We’ve got to get ready to leave,” Kihyun tells him softly, giving him another kiss before managing to squirm away. Hyungwon whines, pulling Kihyun’s pillow to his chest and watching the older as he moves around the room to start getting dressed. Kihyun feels the silent question in the room like a physical presence, though he doesn’t want to be asked yet. Despite what had happened, he still feels uneasy about jumping back into things with Hyungwon, even if it feels like he has no other choice now. He doesn’t want anyone else to have him, so now he has to take him back… not that that’s a terrible drawback or anything, by any means.

“So…” Hyungwon says, and Kihyun can almost hear the younger’s pout. “What does this mean for us now?” Kihyun breathes out a long sigh, starting to pack his suitcase as he chews on the inside of his cheek. He takes his time answering, going back to the bed with a change of clothes and sitting down next to the younger. Hyungwon sits up, blinking hesitantly.

“I love you, Wonnie,” Kihyun finally admits, feeling as if a weight has lifted from his chest, “but I think one of the things that got to us last time was the pressure. I mean, you felt pressured, right? By the thought of screwing things up with us? That’s partly why you never showed up to the movie night and were so jealous of Heon?” Hyungwon blinks again, giving a single nod in confirmation but still seeming confused. Kihyun swallows thickly, his lips pursed. “Well, I want to keep our relationship pressure-free, at least for a while…”

“What’s that mean, exactly?” Hyungwon asks, and Kihyun starts to twirl his thumbs together anxiously. He feels a bit like an asshole for suggesting this, knowing Hyungwon deserves better, but not really seeing an alternative. 

“I want to keep this just between us,” Kihyun answers, earning a hard frown from Hyungwon. “Just for a little bit!” he’s quick to add, grabbing for Hyungwon’s hands and squeezing them. “I just don’t want the way they’d look at us, with all this pressure for us to  _ finally _ work out this time. Plus, I don’t really want to distract from Kkungie’s and Hoseok’s wedding right now…”

“So, you want to be secret until the wedding?” Hyungwon says, clearly needing clarification. Kihyun nods once in confirmation, and Hyungwon sighs out a long breath. “Kihyunnie, even after the wedding, I need you to know my life is full of pressure. I’m a model. I have crazy sleep schedules every other week, sometimes I have to travel, and I always have weird diets I have to follow to keep my body a certain way. I need you to be able to help me handle that… But, if you’re worried about us cracking under pressure now, maybe we should—”

“No, I mean,” Kihyun interrupts, knowing where Hyungwon is going with that, “maybe we can just use this time to get used to each other again…? I just think there was too much pressure the second time around, because everyone was just waiting for us to blow apart again.”

“Our friends weren’t,” Hyungwon argues, and Kihyun huffs out a breath through his nose, “and they would be just as supportive now if not more… I’m sorry, Ki, but keeping it a secret just feels wrong. Besides, I don’t know how long I can keep something like this away from Min.” Kihyun remains silent, suddenly so scared Hyungwon is about to break his heart  _ again _ before they ever really get started this time. He feels like Hyungwon can see it, can see that trepidation as clear as day, and he feels… oddly fragile. He hasn’t been even  _ this _ open in a long time with anyone, and it makes him feel disgustingly vulnerable. 

“Do you promise it’ll only be until the wedding…?” Hyungwon finally asks, sighing.

“As soon as we leave the reception, we can start telling everyone,” Kihyun confirms, nodding his head adamantly. Hyungwon chews on his lower lip thoughtfully, but he finally manages a small nod of his own before pulling Kihyun into his arms. 

“Okay,” he relents verbally, “we’ll do it your way.” Kihyun squeezes him tightly, breathing in the smell of his cologne. “But, I want you to be ready. When we go public, there’ll be a lot more people watching us than there were in high school…”

“I promise,” Kihyun tells him, giving Hyungwon a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “I’ll be there for you during everything… I wouldn’t want to hold you back in the career you’ve built.” He pulls away in time to catch the smile drifting across Hyungwon’s lips, and Kihyun doesn’t fight the urge anymore to kiss them. He finds they’re just as sweet, if not sweeter, than he remembers.

“So… how much time to do we have before we leave~?” Hyungwon asks, wiggling a brow and earning a small laugh from Kihyun. Kihyun hums, pretending to think long and hard before he pulls himself out of the embrace and tugs Hyungwon along with him.

“A little while,” Kihyun replies vaguely, earning a low hum from his… boyfriend? Sure. Secret boyfriend. “First of all, though, we need a bath.” Hyungwon giggles a little as he’s dragged to the bathroom, and Kihyun can’t help the way he beams at the sound. For some reason, it really feels like they’re going to be okay this time… 

On the drive home, Kihyun has to try really hard not to smile too much at everything Hyungwon does. He feels much more at ease than he has in a very long time, and he makes a conscious effort to not look at Hyungwon as much as possible. He can feel the silent questions in Jooheon’s eyes, but Gunhee luckily keeps him busy enough in the backseat to keep him from asking anything. They get back home in one piece, Kihyun hugging Heon bye and telling him they’ll talk later. It isn’t until they’ve driven for a few minutes before Kihyun finally reaches over the center console to take Hyungwon’s hand, his thumb drifting over the younger’s knuckles.

Hyungwon stays at Kihyun’s that night, the two just talking and catching up on all the things they’d missed with each other. When they order a late dinner and Kihyun pulls out his wallet to pay, a polaroid falls out. Hyungwon frowns in confusion and leans down to pick it up, cuddling into Kihyun’s side as the brightest of smiles overtakes his features.

It’s of him and Kihyun in lightly colored hoodies, Kihyun beaming and giving a peace sign and Hyungwon giving a coy smile, his hair wavy and parted similarly to Kihyun’s. He’s got the older set up on his back, the cherry blossoms of spring falling around them as Kihyun gets a piggyback ride. He chuckles under his breath, his gaze growing wistful as he stares at the picture from their high school days. He feels Kihyun’s arm wrap around his shoulders, and he sighs through his nose as he turns to bury his face in the crook of Kihyun’s neck, his heart bursting at the closeness. 

Finally, everything feels okay again.


	17. Chapter 17

“Was work okay today?” Kihyun asks, settling beside Hyungwon at the table. Hyungwon hum softly, his eyelids seeming too heavy for the younger to hold open. Kihyun chuckles warmly, reaching over and kneading at Hyungwon’s neck. Hyungwon hums low in his throat and leans closer to him, blinking absently at him.

“What…?” he asks, and Kihyun has to keep himself from laughing too loudly. It’s been a week since he and Hyungwon had gotten back together, and Hyungwon has spent most of the time at his apartment. He’s already got some spare clothes in Kihyun’s dresser, his toothbrush in Kihyun’s sink. It’s almost like they had never taken a five year detour… But, Kihyun can tell all the time with him is taking a toll on Hyungwon. Between how much time he spends on different shoots and the two parties that have already happened this week, Kihyun’s honestly pretty surprised Hyungwon hasn’t passed out yet.

“Come on,” Kihyun sighs, standing from the chair and gently pulling Hyungwon up by the arm. Hyungwon whines, though he stands with the older. He leans heavily on Kihyun, hugging onto his arm with his head seeming to be permanently placed on his shoulder. “You can eat after you’ve slept for a bit. There’s no point in you forcing yourself to stay awake if you can’t even muster the energy to chew.”

“But,” Hyungwon pouts, earning an almost bewildered look from Kihyun, “I want to spend time with you.” Kihyun coos at that, giving him a kiss to his cheek as they walk to his bedroom. 

“I’ll be right next to you, baby,” he assures him, eyes so loving as he watches a smile blossom over Hyungwon’s face. “You sleep, and I’ll just catch up on some work of my own. It’ll be alright…”

“I… don’t have any schedules tomorrow,” Hyungwon mumbles, rubbing his left eye with the back of his hand. He yawns big and wide, covering his mouth with the same hand. Kihyun rubs his back, pretty happy to hear that, honestly.

“Then we can rest up tonight to enjoy tomorrow,” he offers, and Hyungwon hums again as he slinks onto the bed. Kihyun snickers, fond as he follows suit after grabbing his laptop off the nightstand. Hyungwon lets him get situated, propping himself upright on some pillows, before leaning against him again. Kihyun watches him as he falls asleep in under thirty seconds, his still form and blank face the only signs of a deep slumber. Kihyun purses his lips, pressing a kiss to the top of Hyungwon’s head as he tries not to worry about the younger overworking himself.

Just from the past week, Kihyun can see how much Hyungwon’s changed in their time apart. Hyungwon isn’t so eager to just sit around and do nothing. He works hard for what he has, and he isn’t afraid to push himself… or, at least, as afraid as he was when they were teenagers. He’s grown up a lot, and Khyun couldn’t be prouder of him. Though, there’s a voice in the back of his head that nags at him, saying that Hyungwon doesn’t need to do so much to keep his success going. He’s going to burn out at thirty, the voice tells him, giving him images of Hyungwon aging faster than he should and being shunned from the industry he’s working so hard for within the next ten years.

Of course, maybe that’s why. Maybe Hyungwon wants to put in the hard work now, so that if he’s forced into an early retirement he’ll have enough to fall back on. Though, that still doesn’t ease the worry in Kihyun’s heart at how his boyfriend is so exhausted all the time… but, then Kihyun can’t help but smile. It still makes him so undeniably pleased to be able to think of Hyungwon as his boyfriend again, it only feeling right. Kihyun glances between his boyfriend and his laptop, sighing at himself as he shuts the device and snuggles down into the covers to hold Hyungwon close. He isn’t very behind, and he can easily catch up the day after tomorrow, when he isn’t lavishing Hyungwon with love.

He falls asleep, a task made so much easier by the fact that he has his Wonnie so close again.

After a good night’s sleep and a hearty breakfast, Kihyun pulls Hyungwon over to the couch to just cuddle the day away. Hyungwon is more than happy to oblige, getting comfortable on the plush furniture. Kihyun turns the tv on to some drama from the early 2000s, but Hyungwon doesn’t pay it much mind. He’s too busy showering his caring boyfriend in butterfly kisses. Kihyun blushes under the attention, snickering airily, and the sight makes his chest tighten.

Damn, he loves this man so much… 

“You’re getting that look in your eyes,” Kihyun notes, causing Hyungwon to pull away with a questioning pout. Kihyun coos, pulling at Hyungwon’s cheek. 

“Look?” Hyungwon asks, settling atop Kihyun’s chest and letting his eyes fall shut as Kihyun starts raking his fingers through his hair. He hums at the gentle pressure emitting from Kihyun’s fingertips, feeling so wanted just from the simple touch.

“Mhmm~” Kihyun hums in reply, his gaze sparkling. “That look you get when you start thinking about how much you love me.” Hyungwon gives an airy, high-pitched laugh at this, his lips pulling back to reveal his big, bright smile.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he teases, feeling the loving shine emitting from his own gaze. “I was only thinking about how nice it is to have a day off. It had absolutely nothing to do with you.” Kihyun purses his lips bemusedly, clearly seeing through the lie. Though, the joy in his stare seems to falter at the mention of a day off, and Hyungwon tilts his head at the shift.

“About that,” Kihyun says, pulling his lower lip between his teeth. “I… was thinking last night, and—” Hyungwon’s phone starts going off on the coffee table, and Hyungwon huffs out a breath through his nose in annoyance.

“Hold that thought,” he tells the older, reaching over and checking the caller id. He has full intentions of ignoring it if it's his manager. Though, his eyes blow wide at seeing it isn’t her, but Minhyuk. He gulps thickly, feeling caught in some way despite there being no way Minhyuk knows where he is right now or what he’s doing. He answers the call, doing his best to sound casual. “Hello~?”

“And there I was,” Minhyuk’s voice starts on the other end, causing Hyungwon to roll his eyes at the dramatic air it carries, “standing on the doorstep of my  _ best friend for twenty years _ and thinking, just  _ why _ is it that he isn’t answering my knocks??? Or my texts????”

“Texts?” Hyungwon asks, sitting up with a furrowed brow. He straddles Kihyun as he puts Minhyuk on speaker phone, sighing heavily when he exits from the call screen to see an alert bubble on his messages counting eleven unread texts. “Shit! I’m sorry, Min, I guess I was too tired last night after—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Minhyuk interrupts, somehow sounding flippant and bitter at the same time. “Whatever. I don’t want to know about your latest sexcapades. Frankly, Won, it’s kinda confusing how little you’re at home now. I mean, are you even still trying to get Kihyun back?? Or did you get scared again about going home with that beefcake on the trip and not even talk about it with him?” Kihyun smirks at that, clearly having to suppress a laugh, and Hyungwon shakes his head.

“No, we definitely talked about it,” Hyungwon mutters, watching the dark twinkle in Kihyun’s eyes and blushing a little. 

“Not that I’d know,” Minhyuk complains, his tone somewhat weary as he goes on. “You’ve been so tightlipped about the whole thing…” Hyungwon bites on his lower lip at that, guilt flooding his mind. He’s only not talked about it because he doesn’t want to outright lie to Minhyuk… A lie of omission is better than a lie to his face.

“Just… give me a few minutes,” Hyungwon says, already standing from the couch. Lying to his best friend is one thing, it’s another to just let him stand outside his apartment and not try to meet him. “I’m on my way home. Just wait there.” He can feel Kihyun’s disappointed stare on his back as he goes to the bedroom to change back into his own clothes, but he doesn’t want to blow Minhyuk off like this. Not that they had plans, technically, but he’s not just going to let Minhyuk come out to his place for nothing. He owes him an explanation.

“Okay, fine,” Minhyuk answers, though the lilt to his voice tells Hyungwon he’s pleased. Hyungwon smiles, saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. He hears Kihyun shuffle into the room as he gets changed, tossing his phone onto the bed.

“So… I guess I’ll see you later?” Kihyun prompts, and Hyungwon gulps thickly at how guarded his tone is. He turns to Kihyun, his shoulders falling at how the older holds himself. His gaze is closed off, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Hyungwon finds it oddly impressive yet heartbreaking how easily Kihyun still puts his walls up around him.

“I’ll come back as soon as Min leaves, I promise,” Hyungwon assures him, closing the distance between them to hug him tightly. Kihyun lets out a small breath, and Hyungwon feels him nod against his chest before he pulls away. 

“We need to get our stories straight before you leave,” Kihyun says, going to sit on the bed as Hyungwon finishes getting ready. “We definitely fought, but it was good for us. We finally got to lay  _ all _ our cards out on the table.” Hyungwon nods, watching the older as he talks and interjecting where he feels necessary to make the story all the more believable. He’s been avoiding lying to Minhyuk for as long as he can, he thinks. Now it’s time to follow through with the agreement he made with Kihyun.


	18. Chapter 18

“And, even though Ki didn’t like it,” Hyungwon explains, rattling through the script he and Kihyun had decided upon, “he understood that he didn’t really have a right to be jealous because we aren’t together anymore.”

“Uh huh,” Minhyuk prompts, waving a hand as he leans against the kitchen bar, “and?”

“He knows that if we’re going to be just friends,” Hyungwon prattles on, “then I’m going to keep living my life as a single man. And he can’t comment on it unless he gets back together with me.”

“So now you’re rubbing it in his face that you two aren’t together?” Minhyuk asks for clarification, clearly confused. “Look, I know you two have been through a lot and everything, but seriously! This is  _ not _ the way to win him back!! Is that even still what you want to do??”

“I-I… feel like I’m wearing him down,” Hyungwon stumbles, gulping thickly as he detracts from the prepared statement. Minhyuk’s gaze narrows at the stutter, but Hyungwon pointedly ignores it. “Really, Min, the fight was good for us!”

“Yeah, you said that already,” Minhyuk points out, frowning hard. “You’re not keeping anything from me, are you?” Hyungwon has to bite back a sigh at being so easily found out. It’s what he had expected, after all. Of course Minhyuk would see through something so monumental. But, he made a promise to Kihyun that morning, and, honestly, dating in secret has worked really well for them thus far. It’s allowed them the room to breathe and settle into each other again, despite Hyungwon’s busy schedule.

“Like I would be dumb enough to try something like that,” Hyungwon replies without really answering, forcing out a light chuckle. Minhyuk hums, seeming unimpressed, and he straightens up. He reaches for the bag he’d brought, pulling out snacks galore—half the things Hyungwon can’t eat on a normal day, granted, but he will now due to his own guilt.

“Whatever it is you’re doing,” Minhyuk says, his lips pressed together in dismay, “I hope it’s working. I don’t get it, because you’re not telling me something important here, but I trust it’s for a good reason.” He then holds up a plastic fork, holding it threateningly in Hyungwon’s direction and looking oddly intimidating. “I swear to god, Chae, if something happened between you and Ki on the trip that you aren’t telling me, after  _ everything _ I’ve helped you through, you’re gonna feel my wrath.”

Hyungwon manages a light chuckle, assuring his friend that there’s nothing like that going on, only what he’d told Minhyuk already. Minhyuk blinks unevenly at him, hurt shining in his eyes, but he allows the lie to persist. Hyungwon bites back a sigh as he follows Hyungwon to the couch, the older pulling out his Switch and offering up a round of Mario Kart. Hyungwon nods, feeling obligated now. The least he can do to the best friend he’s lying to is hang out for a little while.

“And… you’re  _ sure _ you’re okay with this?” Jooheon asks, clearly doubtful. Kihyun nods firmly, pulling out his acting degree from Dong-Ah University for the task. Jooheon hmphs, his eyes still questioning as he bites into a dumpling. Kihyun offers the younger a smile, nudging his shoulder with his own.

“I don’t like it very much,” Kihyun admits softly, glancing to the ground, “but I have to be okay with it. It isn’t easy seeing him with other guys, but I don’t have a right to be angry when I won’t get back with him.”

“And why won’t you?” Jooheon prompts, pouting. “I mean, I know you can be pretty prideful, hyung, but this?? Just take him back already, we all know you will!”

“Wow, thanks,” Kihyun says dryly, pursing his lips. Jooheon shakes his head and releases a heavy breath.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, sounding exasperated. “I just mean you two belong together, and we all see that. What’s the harm in giving into what you  _ know _ will eventually happen??”

“It has to be on  _ our _ terms, Heon,” Kihyun insists. He feels a bit ridiculous since this isn’t even an argument he should be having, since he and Hyungwon  _ are _ back together. But, he just doesn’t want to tell the others yet, no matter how supportive they’re bound to be. He needs to get through this trial run first, to prove to himself that they won’t break apart within the first couple of weeks of being together. 

“Our?” Jooheon points out, causing Kihyun to blink in confusion. It takes him a moment to realize what he’s done, referred to him and Hyungwon as a unit form for the first time in a long time, and he mentally curses at himself.

“You know what I mean,” he grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest and keeping his gaze resolutely on the grass at their feet. Jooheon hums, giving a small nod though he seems to still not really know. Kihyun has to think of other things as the silence drifts between them in the park of their childhoods to distract himself from the shame at lying to his best friend. 

He thinks of Hyungwon’s smile, how right it feels to hold the younger close again. He thinks of his laughter, his big perfect eyes and how they seem to twinkle whenever Kihyun is near. He doesn’t realize he’s smiling until Jooheon asks him what he’s thinking about to earn  _ that  _ kind of expression, and Kihyun shakes himself out of it.

“What expression?” he asks, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“The smitten kind,” Jooheon points out mercilessly, eating another dumpling. Kihyun hums, trying to think of a way out of this one.

“Just… the past,” he finally manages, it not really being a lie. After all, even if the most recent instances of such things are only from this morning before Hyungwon got dragged away by Minhyuk, that is still  _ technically  _ the past. Though, he can tell Jooheon just assumes it’s from their high school days.

Kihyun leaves Jooheon a little while later, unable to stand the shame of lying to him anymore. He walks home, his head bent forward as he tries to sort through all his messy thoughts, and he’s surprised to find Hyungwon sitting on his doorstep. The younger is crouched down, his face turned towards the floor and his eyes seeming so conflicted. When Kihyun draws close he looks up, and his gaze almost turns watery. Kihyun purses his lips, kneeling in front of him and pulling Hyungwon into his arms.

“The wedding is next week,” Kihyun whispers to him, petting at his hair. “We only have to do this for another week.”

“… One more week,” Hyungwon mumbles out in agreement, clinging to Kihyun tightly. Kihyun gently pulls them both up and unlocks the door to his apartment, pursing his lips as he figures he just can’t escape the guilt today. Jooheon he can handle, but Hyungwon…? He honestly didn’t think it’d be this hard to keep something like this secret for only a little while, that’s why he set the deadline for their going public to be the wedding. 

But, it seems he’s being proved wrong yet again.


	19. Chapter 19

Kihyun’s just minding his own business, actually putting some desk time in instead of just working from home like usual. It’s easier to focus at the office, with the journalistic hustle and bustle and lingo like “STAT” and “Where’s the fact checker??” being thrown around all willy nilly. He’s just finishing up a piece about the local festivals that are about to start to signify the new season when his editor comes sauntering up to his desk, his brow furrowed and his receding hairline leaving his head to mercilessly shine down on the employees.

“Yoo,” the middle-aged man says, his voice gruff, “you just moved into the same building as that model Chae Hyungwon, right?” Kihyun purses his lips, blinking confusedly.

“Um… yessir,” he says, nodding. “How did you…?”

“I’m a journalist, it’s my job,” he says, waving his hand flippantly. “That’s not the point. The point is I need  _ you _ to get an interview with him. You two used to go to the same high school, right? Use that if you have to.” 

“An interview with a model?” Kihyun asks, a bit taken aback. Sure he’s writing this fluff piece about town festivals now, but that’s really only because there hasn’t been any real news lately… “Sir, I don’t write for the lifestyle beat, typically. I’m on the—”

“You write for whatever beat I give you,” his editor tells him, giving him a stern glare over the rims of his glasses. “This isn’t a request, Yoo, it’s an order. This just hit the streets,” the older man says as he tosses onto Kihyun’s desk the magazine in his hands, “and I don’t want another paper getting the exclusive. This can make our readership skyrocket if we strike while the iron’s hot! And don’t get any of that bullshit from his manager, all about accusations and such. Give me the  _ real _ stuff.”

Kihyun looks down at the magazine, picking it up and glancing at the cover only to find his boyfriend leaning a bit too close to a different man, a quirk of a smile pulling at his pretty lips. The picture is fuzzy, and Kihyun has to angle the magazine a certain way to see just what the hell is actually going on there. Hyungwon’s hand is on the man’s arm, and even though his editor is right there he can’t help but tighten his grip on the glossy publication. A ball of bile settles at the base of his throat, and he feels like he should throw up but he can’t. 

“Get back with me stat on if you land it,” his editor says, clearly oblivious to Kihyun’s aching chest as he walks away. Kihyun bites on the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes blood, and it’s all he has in him to not slam his laptop closed so hard it breaks. He puts everything in his satchel haphazardly, only one thought in his mind now: getting to the bottom of this. 

Hyungwon is enjoying some free time alone, taking his time showering and getting dressed for the day. He’s about to send Kihyun a text about going out for some coffee when he hears quite the demanding knock on the door. He frowns, shuffling towards the door. As he grows closer, his anxiety grows, though he can’t say why. However, when he finally opens the door and Kihyun pushes passed him. Hyungwon’s frown only deepens as he closes the door and turns to face him, only to have a magazine shoved into his face.

His eyebrows pull together, his gaze narrowing as he studies the picture. It seems to have been taken at one of the parties he had gone to last week. All those things are the same, so he couldn’t say which one, exactly. However, he does recognize the guy he’s talking to. It had only been a server who’d helped him when he’d almost fallen flat on his face, and he’d laughed at himself for being so clumsy. He reaches out to grasp Kihyun’s wrist and move it, only to reveal Kihyun’s irate jealousy. He gulps thickly, almost wanting to move the magazine back to where it blocks him from Kihyun’s view.

“I know we’re only dating in secret right now,” Kihyun spits out, his tone venomous as he pulls his wrist free, “but the last thing I want is to find out my boyfriend is cheating on me from my fucking editor.” He throws the magazine onto the nearby bar, and Hyungwon can’t help the way he straightens up in shock at the accusation.

“Cheating???” Hyungwon scoffs, rolling his eyes at the accusation. “ _ Please _ . You know me better than that.”

“Do I??” 

Hyungwon scowls, huffing out a long breath through his nose. He shakes his head and walks passed Kihyun to the couch, waving a hand at him.

“I may do a lot of stupid things, Ki,” Hyungwon says as Kihyun follows after him, “but cheating isn’t one of them. Out of all the ways I could screw  _ this  _ up, that’s the last one you have to worry about.” He then pauses as he sits on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I told you, my career has its drawbacks. The sleep schedules, the diets… this is another one. The rumors and gossip people start about me for no reason other than I’m just there to be shit on.” His voice cracks on the last bit, this definitely being the most draining part of his life. He looks up at Kihyun, who’s watching him with his arms crossed over his chest and his lips pursed. Though, as the seconds tick by and Hyungwon keeps staring at him, Kihyun’s shoulders start to fall, and soon he’s sitting on the couch with him.

He feels as if he can see the gears turning in Kihyun’s head, as if he’s trying to discern truth from fiction. Hyungwon can’t help but wonder if this freak out isn’t more about how scared Kihyun is over losing Hyungwon in general or just being cheated on. After all, despite how well things have going, it’s only been a week or so.  _ He _ knows he won’t leave Kihyun again, but he isn’t so sure if Kihyun knows that yet.

“If you’re going to crack under the pressure now—” Hyungwon starts to say, but Kihyun is quick to stop him with a hand gripping onto his knee.

“ _ No _ , I’m sorry,” Kihyun says, shaking his head adamantly. Hyungwon is surprised to see the pure unadulterated fear in Kihyun’s eyes, and he has to keep himself from kissing the older just to get him to smile again. “I just… The last thing I expected today was to get this from my editor and be assigned an interview with you.”

“An interview?” Hyungwon asks, confused again. “You don’t write lifestyle, you write—”

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Kihyun says, actually snorting. He sighs, shifting to get into Hyungwon’s lap and giving him a kiss to the forehead. “I’m sorry I freaked… I just… I don’t know! Seeing you with someone I don’t recognize just set me off, I guess. Especially when it’s someone who seems more a part of that part of your life than I am…”

“I nearly fell down a flight of stairs and he caught me,” Hyungwon explains, shaking his head. “He was on his way to the kitchen to get another tray of whatever they were serving that night. That’s all.” Kihyun seems to soften at the assurance, and Hyungwon can’t help the smile that comes to him at being a comfort.

“I love you, you know,” Kihyun mutters, his tone airy. Hyungwon beams at that, and he closes the small bit of distance between them to give him a kiss. 

“I love you more,” he replies, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Kihyun coos, and Hyugnwon feels the older’s thumbs rubbing at his temples. “When we tell everyone, you can come with me to the parties and keep an eye on me, if you want~” He offers it in a joking manner, but he does hope Kihyun takes him up on it. After all, what’s the point of having such a perfect boyfriend like Yoo Kihyun and not getting to show him off? Kihyun hums, his eyes flitting up to the ceiling in thought, and Hyungwon just enjoys watching him as he absently pets at the older’s sides.

“We’ll just see how the interview goes first,” Kihyun tells him playfully, giving him a wink, and Hyungwon chuckles lightly.

“I don’t know if my manager will like that…”

“Your manager can suck it,” Kihyun insists, “because my editor won’t back down. After all, he put me, his best man, on the case.” Hyungwon snorts at how smugly Kihyun describes himself, shaking his head fondly as he hugs Kihyun tight. 


	20. Chapter 20

“I wouldn’t say that,” Hyungwon frowns, pointing at a particular phrase Kihyun has just typed. Kihyun frowns himself, glancing back to scowl at his boyfriend.

“I literally have you on  _ tape _ saying exactly that,” Kihyun argues, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly. Hyungwon huffs out a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose in clear annoyance.

“The me  _ in love _ says that kind of sappy shit, but not the heartbroken me that’s still trying to win you back.” Kihyun scoffs, shaking his head as he turns in his chair to go back to typing. He feels Hyungwon lean against him, the younger’s head settling on his shoulder. “When Minhyuk reads this, he’s going to know I’m lying to him,” he mutters into Kihyun’s ear, the guilt laced through his voice so delicately. Kihyun purses his lips, pausing again to lean his head back against Hyungwon’s shoulder. He kisses the shell of Hyungwon’s ear, craning his neck to do so.

“It’ll take at least a week for this to go through the editing process and actually make it into the paper,” Kihyun tells him in an effort to be comforting, “and the wedding is this Saturday. We’ll have already told him by the time this comes out.” Hyungwon hums softly in his throat, his head tilting to rub against Kihyun’s chest like a cat. Kihyun can’t help the laugh that escapes him, and he pets at Hyungwon’s hair for a moment before gently nudging the man’s head out of his way so he can keep working. Hyungwon kisses his cheek before he shuffles off, leaving Kihyun to it.

Kihyun sighs, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he resumes his typing. Hyungwon’s right, it is pretty risky to be writing an article about your secret boyfriend’s lovelife. He goes into past relationships, doing his best to be as neutral as possible. Though, he definitely has a hard focus on the present status of the model’s romantic endeavors. He had done some light research in preparation for the interview, and he’d found some… interesting tidbits, to say the least. He’d addressed most of them in the interview, going for less of a fluff piece style and trying to show who Hyungwon is behind his public persona of who seems to be a partying playboy.

He shakes his head at himself, saving the document and shutting his laptop. He can’t focus too much on the rumors or else he’ll get jealous again. He trusts that Hyungwon wouldn’t lie about what had happened before they got back together, and the younger had been very clear in that he hasn’t had a single serious relationship since they broke up the last time. But, that frankly doesn’t make the pill any easier to swallow for him… He’ll just have to get over it, though, learn how to deal with it. He’s sure once they come out about their relationship the rumors will multiply by tenfold, easily. 

After all, what kind of playboy is better for the tabloids than a  _ cheating _ playboy?

Kihyun finds Hyungwon lounging in bed, scrolling through his social media. Kihyun crawls in beside him, resting his head on Hyungwon’s chest and listens to his heartbeat. He presses his fingertips around Hyungwon’s torso, swallowing thickly at finding his ribs. Sure, Hyungwon’s always been on the skinny side, but he’s also always been a healthy skinny. Nothing like this.

“Want beef tonight?” Kihyun asks, trying to think of something to make that Hyungwon will eat a lot of. Hyungwon hums absently, seeming to take a moment to pull himself out of his phone. He blinks at the older, his eyes glowing with a certain brand of affection Kihyun really only ever sees in his gaze when Hyungwon looks at  _ him _ . He takes comfort in that, his smile softening.

“Trying to fatten me up, hyungie?” he asks. His tone is joking, though there seems to be a certain level of sincerity to the question. Kihyun shrugs, pressing pointedly against Hyungwon’s ribs.

“I’m just trying to make sure you eat, babe,” he answers, giving Hyungwon a kiss to his jaw. The affection elicits a sigh from the model, and Hyungwon sets his phone down with a nod. He closes his eyes, seeming so incredibly tired, and Kihyun feels a clump of anxiety clogging up his throat. He pets at Hyungwon’s chest, trying to help him relax. Hyungwon seems to melt under his touch, his head falling back as a soft sigh escapes him. Kihyun gives him a small smile, kissing his cheek before moving to get up and cook for his lover.

“I’m setting you up with someone,” Minhyuk says, causing Hyungwon to stumble in his steps. He trips over the rug that’s been laid out over the aisle, and Kihyun is quick to catch him. He feels the tight grip Kihyun gets on his upper arm, and Hyungwon gulps thickly. He looks at his childhood friend, awkwardly pulling his arm from Kihyun’s grasp when he sees how Minhyuk eyes the way Kihyun’s fingers dig into him.

“W-Why?” Hyungwon asks, chewing on his lower lip anxiously. He feels Kihyun silently seethe beside him as Minhyuk shrugs, seeming almost flippant about the bomb he’s just dropped.

“Because you need a date for the wedding, and it’s in two days,” Minhyuk explains, waving a dismissive hand. “It’s a cousin of mine who just so happens to be in town with his parents visiting my family.” Hyungwon sees Kihyun turn and walk away—muttering something about checking on the grooms—out of his peripheral, and he can’t help the hard frown that comes to him. He takes a few steps closer to Minhyuk in an effort to keep his voice down.

“I don’t  _ need  _ a date for the wedding,” Hyungwon mutters, the tension in his voice making Minhyuk’s eyebrows lift.

“I’m only trying to help your new plan at getting Ki back,” Minhyuk tells him, scowling. “If you’re playing hard to get, I’ll give you someone to dangle in front of him.” Hyungwon rolls his eyes, shaking his head adamantly.

“That’s not what I’ve been—”

“ _ Unless _ ,” Minhyuk interrupts, snapping his planning binder closed with a tone of finality, “there’s something you’re not telling me? Unless there’s a  _ reason _ you don’t want to take my cousin on a date?”

“Like?” Hyungwon can’t help but ask, a bit perturbed by Minhyuk’s knowing tone. Minhyuk smirks, wiggling a brow.

“Like you already having a date?” Minhyuk prompts, shooting a pointed look behind Hyungwon. Hyungwon glances over his shoulder, blushing despite himself at the jealous glare Kihyun is giving them as he talks to Changkyun. Hyungwon immediately starts shaking his head, huffing out a silent breath. He should’ve known something like this would happen… He loves Minhyuk, he does, but his chaotic friend just has no idea when to stop meddling.

“He and I aren’t together,” Hyungwon insists, his tone borderline pleading for Minhyuk to do something so uncharacteristic of himself and just drop it. Minhyuk purses his lips, blinking unevenly as he studies Hyungwon. He doesn’t say anything, though, only shrugging as he opens his binder once more.

“His name is Chanwoo.”

“Like in  _ The Heirs _ ?” Hyungwon can’t help but ask, confused by the familiar name. Minhyuk scoffs, shaking his head.

“I wish,” he replies, leaving Hyungwon to stew on the mess his lovelife is becoming.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW//signs/phsyical symptoms of a panic attack for only a paragraph and a half.

“I’m gonna wring his neck,” Kihyun mutters under his breath, glaring out the window as Hyungwon drives them home. He’s got his arms crossed over his chest as he grips hard onto his own sleeves, just trying to keep himself from completely blowing up. Hyungwon exhales a heavy sigh beside him, but he doesn’t look over. He doesn’t want to fight over something like this  _ again _ , but god dammit. Is the universe just working against them, at this point??? 

“We should’ve just told him you’re taking me,” Hyungwon says with a frown, causing Kihyun’s head to snap over at him. “I know we agreed,” he goes on to say, “but I don’t think you saw this coming when you suggested we date in secret… did you?”

“Of course not,” Kihyun spits out, entirely enraged by the thought, “but then we’d be stuck with—”

“The pressure you were scared of, yeah,” Hyungwon interrupts, breathing heavily through his nose. Kihyun frowns at that, raising a skeptical brow.

“ _ We _ agreed we would do better with the pressure off for the first couple weeks,” Kihyun argues. “That is, unless you want to already be broken back up to go off with Minhyuk’s cousin.” He means it as a tease, really, but he realizes he’s too angry to pull it off when Hyungwon scoffs. The younger veers them towards the side of the road, parking haphazardly and whirling to face Kihyun dead in the eye. 

“Are you fucking serious right now????” Hyungwon demands, sounding absolutely irate. “The LAST thing I want to do is be with  _ any _ one else!!!!!”

“ _ I  _ know that, obviously!” Kihyun says to him, leaning closer to try and get Hyungwon to look into his eyes and really  _ see _ his feelings. “But, Minhyuk is very clearly unaware right now! And it’s pissing me off!!!!”

“ _ You’re  _ the one who’s making me keep him in the dark!” Hyungwon points out, his tone heightened by exasperation. “If you would just let us come out, he’d—”

“ _ WE AGREED _ —”

“I AGREED BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO LOSE YOU AGAIN!!!” Hyungwon confesses, the look in his eyes almost wild. Kihyun’s eyes widen in surprise, having not realized this. Hyungwon sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before continuing. “But you’re making me do this thing I’m  _ not _ comfortable with… I’m tired of the hiding and the lies. I have enough going on in my life without all of this drama.” Kihyun’s heart pangs painfully against his chest, almost as if it’s beating for the last time. He’s suddenly so very afraid that he really has screwed everything up, and he almost waits for Hyungwon to break up with him again… Hyungwon clearly sees that fear, and he scoffs before shaking his head. He returns his gaze to the road, carefully pulling out of the parking spot and continuing on their way home. 

“You always look at me like I’m about to break your heart,” Hyungwon finally murmurs, so soft Kihyun can barely hear him. Kihyun purses his lips, looking away as he gives a halfhearted shrug.

“It’s what you’re best at…”

Neither say another word on the drive back. Kihyun only speaks again when he says he has a lot of work to do, and Hyungwon says he’ll see the older at the wedding. Kihyun manages a nod as he goes into their building, only releasing the tension in his shoulders when he’s alone in his own apartment. He feels his throat closing up, and he wonders if he can even breathe like this. He pulls distractedly at his neckline as if it's too tight, sinking down to the floor with his back pressed against the front door. He has half a mind to call someone, Hyungwon or Jooheon, but at the thought of Hyungwon seeing him like this he immediately pushes it away. He shakes his head at himself and puts his head between his knees, squeezing his eyes tight and starting to count hurriedly under his breath.

He hasn’t had something like this happen since high school, when Hyungwon had broken up with him the second time. He’d walked through the halls, so terrified of seeing Hyungwon rounding a corner and not knowing what he would do if it had happened. He would duck into the nearest bathroom or empty classroom when he felt the difficulty breathing, hiding where he could and having to just sit down and count until he could remember how to do the fundamentals of living. 

It feels as if it takes him a while, though time never really feels real when this happens. He finally manages a steady breathing pattern, and he leans his head back against the door. He breathes out a long breath, eyes flitting up to the ceiling. He shakes his head at himself, wiping at his face and absently surprised to find sweat there. He slowly manages to stand on shaking legs, shuffling off towards the bathroom. He leans over to start a bath, slipping his phone from his pocket and setting it on the bathroom counter.

He’s surprised to see a text from Hyungwon in his notifications, his gaze softening as he reads it.

_ I love you, hyungie. I promise i’m not as stupid as i used to be. No matter how long it takes, i’ll prove i’m in this for the long haul ❤️ _

Kihyun tilts his head, feeling the last of his stresses melting away at the simplest heart emoji in the world. He types out a reply quickly before reaching for the bubblebath.

_ Just get ur stupid head in here to take a bath with me _

He can’t help but laugh at the almost immediate reply of a string of eyeball emojis, and before the tub is even full Hyungwon’s in his bathroom, heaving in air like he’d run down the stairs or something. Kihyun laughs again, the sound loud and clear and wonderfully stress-free. He pulls Hyungwon closer, giving him a loving kiss on the lips. What he can’t say with words he’ll prove to the younger with affection: that he isn’t so worried about Hyungwon leaving him anymore because of anything Hyungwon’s done, but because he’s terrified of what he himself will do. That despite everything, he still blames himself for how they left things in high school. That, even though they’re together again, he’s so petrified of screwing things up again with him and losing him for good.

That, even though Hyungwon’s got a beard for the wedding, he always has and always will love him. That it’ll be them, forever and always, before all else, and that if Hyungwon can just be a little more patient with him, everything will be how it should be. If Hyungwon just gives him a little more time, Kihyun will be able to shed the skin of their past mistakes and live reborn in the new, bright future they’re sure to have.


	22. Chapter 22

Hyungwon manages to avoid seeing Minhyuk’s cousin before the ceremony, claiming he has some last minute work things to take care of, but he’ll be there for sure in time for the wedding. He had ridden with Kihyun after spending the day with him, feeling especially clingy. He’s sure it has to do with the elephant in the room, that he’s about to be on a date with a different man, but he doesn’t say it. He doesn’t even acknowledge it. He just watches tv with Kihyun and eats with Kihyun and gets ready with Kihyun before driving Kihyun to the venue.

Kihyun gulps thickly in the passenger’s seat, his fingers braided through Hyungwon’s in the center console. He looks over at Hyungwon, his eyes flickering with conflicting thoughts.

“I’ll see you back at my place after, okay?” Hyungwon prompts, his voice so gentle. Kihyun nods, leaning over to kiss Hyungwon soundly on the lips before slipping out of his grasp. He closes the door with a tone of finality, and Hyungwon decides to give him a head start before going in himself. However, as soon as he’s out of the car a young man is walking towards him, a disarming smile set beneath a vaguely familiar nose. He blinks unevenly, similarly to Minhyuk, and Hyungwon has a feeling he knows who this is.

“Chae Hyungwon?” the man asks, and Hyungwon nods absently. He already finds himself looking for Kihyun, his perfectly styled hair and his tux that just so happens to match with Hyungwon’s own. The man’s smile brightens, and he offers out a hand. “Lee Chanwoo, I’m Minhyuk’s cousin.”

“Nice to meet you,” Hyungwon says, having to force his eyes back to the man gripping onto his fingers. He gulps thickly at the strength behind the hold, avoiding his gaze as he leans in closer.

“I think it’s nicer that I’ve met you,” he says, entirely cheesy. Hyungwon can’t help the blush that dusts his cheeks. Does Minhyuk  _ really _ think this is his type? Strong-handed cheesy men who look good in suits? Hyungwon can’t help how he starts comparing this Chanwoo immediately to  _ his _ Kihyun. Kihyun is at least ten times cheesier, and  _ way _ stronger than this guy. His Kihyunnie is shorter, yes, and way more annoying upon first meeting, but that’s just part of his charm. At least, it is to Hyungwon.

“L-Let’s head inside,” Hyungwon says softly, pulling his hand away and slipping both into his pockets casually. He’d like to limit as much physical contact as possible without seeming overly rude. It isn’t Chanwoo’s fault he’s been pulled into this. After all, Minhyuk’s cousin has some impossible standards to… 

Minhyuk seems to have everything planned down to a t, Kihyun thinks as he sips at his whiskey highball. Everything has gone off without a hitch thus far. The walk itself was beautiful, filled with all the right oohs and ahs. It’s an open bar, and the food is delicious. Once all this is over, he may even ask Minhyuk to plan his and Hyungwon’s wed— 

Kihyun stops that line of thinking immediately, the tips of his ears going red. He empties his glass and waves over a waiter to request a new one, pointedly avoiding the sight of Hyungwon being manhandled on the dancefloor by Chan-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is. The waiter brings his new drink, and he doesn’t stop himself from requesting a third before the man walks away. Kihyun surveys the rest of the room, watches as Minhyuk hangs all over Hyunwoo and how Jooheon and Gunhee argue with the dj—only somewhat tipsy, mind you—to let them take over the mic for just a minute and hype up the joint. 

He finds the happiest couple in the room, Hoseok and Changkyun, and watches how they seem so relaxed in each other’s arms. They seem to be lost in their own little world, Changkyun laughing so brightly at something Hoseok has just said. Kihyun feels a sharp pain of nostalgia in the pit of his stomach, remembering the first day he’d met Changkyun. The maknae had only been a freshman, entirely too awkward for words. He seemed to struggle between Korean and English, making him a semi-favorite of the foreign teachers, and Kihyun had taken him under his wing almost instantly.

He hadn’t realized Hyungwon had also laid claim to the adorable boy who had come to be like another brother to him until after he was already attached. He’s watched Changkyun go through so much, watched all of his friends go through so much. He drops his gaze, finishing off his second drink quickly to fight off the tears he feels start to prick at his eyes. He’s not sad, really. He just feels so  _ old _ all of a sudden, all of it feeling so long ago. They’ve all come so far, and it’s about time they all find their happy endings. They  _ all _ deserve it.

The waiter returns with a third highball, and Kihyun downs that one, as well, the amount of whiskey in it burning all the way to his gut. He gives the waiter a pretty generous tip before standing from the table and marching forward. He has a pleasant buzz now, and he’s on a mission before it wears off. He feels some suspicious gazes being thrown his way, but he doesn’t care. He reaches the middle of the dancefloor, where Hyungwon is swaying with his beard, and he only has to wait a moment before Hyungwon notices him.

“Hyung—?”

“We need to talk,” Kihyun says, glancing pointedly at Minhyuk’s cousin. The man seems surprised, but he releases the hold he has on Hyungwon without asking for an explanation. Kihyun grabs for Hyungwon’s hand and drags him away, out of the reception hall and towards the coat check room. He hears Hyungwon asking him what’s going on, but he doesn’t say another word before they’re secluded among the formal coats hanging in the side room.

“Are you okay?” Hyungwon asks softly, shifting to be entirely too close. He seems to study Kihyun’s eyes, and Kihyun only shakes his head as he wraps his arms around Hyungwon.

“I’m sorry for being so scared with you,” Kihyun tells him, his gaze growing murky as he stares up at his everything. “I’m sorry for getting us into this mess, I’m sorry for making us wait…”

“Are you drunk?” Hyungwon asks, smirking, and Kihyun can’t help the pout that pulls at his lips.

“Tipsy,” Kihyun corrects. “Did you not listen to me??? I’m apologizing and you’re not even listening!” Hyungwon coos, and Kihyun can’t help how he leans into his hand as Hyungwon cups his cheek.

“I understand why you’re scared,” Hyungwon tells him. “I am, too. I’m terrified of screwing things—”

“You’re not  _ listening _ ,” Kihyun tells him, waving a hand in front of Hyungwon’s pursed smile. Hyungwon’s eyes glitter at him affectionately, and Kihyun can’t tell if it’s his own gaze getting out of focus or Hyungwon’s eyes. “I’m using  _ past _ tense, Wonnie~ I’m not scared anymore!!” Hyungwon hums lowly, squeezing Kihyun tightly to himself. 

“ _ Patht  _ tense, hyung~?” Hyungwon asks, teasing Kihyun for his lisp, and Kihyun pouts hard as he lightly slaps Hyungwon’s chest. Though, the airy, hearty laugh that escapes the younger’s lips makes Kihyun not too terribly upset over it. Hyungwon sighs, his breath fanning over Kihyun’s face and smelling vaguely of soju. “I love you, Kihyunnie…”

“I love you more, Wonnie…”

Kihyun feels almost as if he’s in a dream when Hyungwon kisses him, his head getting entirely too dizzy to keep his eyes open any longer. His hands come up to rest on Hyungwon’s cheeks, holding him in place as he keeps kissing him, and he feels Hyungwon’s arms rest on his shoulders. And, for the first time in a long time, it doesn’t feel to Kihyun like this is the last chance he’ll get.

The door suddenly slams open behind him, and he pulls away a bit too slowly to find Minhyuk standing in the doorway, his mouth hanging open in shock. He holds out his phone, and Kihyun can see the interview he’d written with Hyungwon on it clear as day…. 

Oh, shit.


	23. Chapter 23

“I told you a long time ago,” Minhyuk says, his tone deathly low and somber, “that you should really update on your social medias who your manager is,  _ Hyungwon _ . Kihyun’s editor just sent me this interesting article to proof on your behalf before he sends it off to the printers.” Hyungwon gulps thickly, his mouth going dry as he grips the back of Kihyun’s suit jacket for stability.

“M-Min… I—“

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!” Minhyuk almost shrieks, his raspy tone so shrill with anger Kihyun can’t help but wince. Hyungwon bites hard on his bottom lip, shifting a step back as he sees the indignant rage and betrayal shine clear in Minhyuk’s eyes. Fuck, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Minhyuk  _ this  _ mad before. “I  _ knew _ something was going on between you two!!!!!! When did you get back together??? During the trip to Daegu??? Of course it was, that’s when you had the argument that was  _ soooooo _ good for you, right Wonnie???? At least, that’s what you and KI  _ both _ said to me and Joo, like we’re FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!”

“Minhyuk, please—”

“Min, don’t be mad at Wonnie,” Kihyun interjects, stepping between Hyungwon and Minhyuk. Minhyuk’s glare turns to Kihyun, his thin shoulders heaving up and down as he breathes loudly. “This was all me.  _ I  _ asked him to not tell anyone… I didn’t want—”

“What???” Minhyuk demands. “For us to be  _ happy _ for you two???? For  _ me  _ to meddle???? What was it that made it so important for you to make my  _ best friend lie to my FACE _ ?????” Kihyun falls silent at this, and Hyungwon glances at the movement behind Minhyuk distractedly. It’s Hyunwoo, and he places a hand on Minhyuk’s shoulder. 

“Honey,” Hyunwoo starts, “calm down. I’m sure they—”

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!!!” Minhyuk yells, whirling around to glare at the eldest in the room.

“Do you  _ want _ Kkungie and Hoseok to come in here??” Kihyun says, causing Minhyuk’s gaze to snap back at them. At the mention of the happy couple, Minhyuk seems to falter for a moment, and in another second all that seems to be left is hurt in his eyes as he stares at Hyungwon. Hyungwon feels his heart breaking for an entirely new reason, and he steps forward to grab for Minhyuk’s arm, to explain to him everything and beg for forgiveness, but Minhyuk steps back, out of his reach.

Minhyuk shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest as he turns on his heel and leaves. Hyunwoo heaves out a heavy sigh, casting a sorrowful glance at the couple before chasing after his husband. Hyungwon feels tears of guilt and shame start to prick at the corners of his eyes, and he turns towards Kihyun and leans against him. He feels Kihyun’s arms settle around him, and he lets the tears fall as he buries his face in the crook of Hyungwon’s neck.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Kihyun whispers to him over and over, but Hyungown can only shake his head. He blames Kihyun to an extent, but he also knew he shouldn’t have agreed when Kihyun had suggested they keep this all secret in the first place.

Why does he keep screwing up everything with the people that matter most?

“But  _ why _ , hyung?” Jooheon asks, sitting across from Kihyun in his living room. He speaks quietly, not wanting to disturb Hyungwon who he assumes to still be sleeping. Jooheon had gotten some Pretty Angry texts the night before from Minhyuk, along with a few irate voicemails. He couldn’t make much out through the pissed tirades than Kihyun and Hyungwon having lied for a while about being together. And, while Jooheon relates to the hurt at being lied to about something so big in his best friend’s life, he doesn’t see the point in being angry about it.

“Heon,” Kihyun starts, shaking his head, “I was  _ so _ scared of messing things up with Wonnie in just the first two weeks. I didn’t trust him or myself with lasting passed the wedding under all the pressure we’d be under.”

“Pressure??” Jooheon demands, absolutely taken aback. “What pressure? We would’ve just been happy for you!” 

“And Min would’ve started the old jokes about us getting married,” Kihyun says, waving his hands as if it’s obvious, “and  _ you _ would’ve started all the old jokes about if  _ this _ was going to be the time to get it right, or if we were just going to quit and try again in another few years… I couldn’t take that, Heon, not so soon. I didn’t want the jokes, I didn’t want everyone else giving their opinion. I just wanted Wonnie and me to get used to each other on our own before we brought everyone else into it.”

Jooheon frowns, looking to the floor. It isn’t as if they’d have been mean about it, or anything, but they always give each other shit. It’s just how they are. They can be soft and supportive when they need to be, but something like  _ this _ ? Yeah, they would’ve gotten shit, because it’s always been obvious they’d get back together, anyway. Giving shit to each other is normal, and to have done something differently with Hyungwon and Kihyun getting back together would’ve made it weirder than it already was.

Hyungwon drifts into the living room, not even seeming surprised at seeing Jooheon there. He crawls onto the couch and snuggles into Kihyun’s side, sitting with his knees pressed to his chest and hiding his face in Kihyun’s shoulder. He honestly kind of looks like shit, everything about him out of place. Jooheon swallows thickly, watching as Kihyun wraps an arm quietly around Hyungwon and seeming so anxious as he stares at the younger.

“I’ll talk Min-hyung down,” Jooheon offers, sighing softly as he stands. “I guess I get why you did it, though I don’t appreciate being lied to… But, it’s done. Now we just have to make it so that Minhyuk will talk to you two again.”

“He’s never gonna talk to me again,” Hyungwon mutters, sounding so entirely broken. “He’s never looked at me like that before… He hates me.”

“ _ No _ , Wonnie,” Kihyun is quick to assure him, pulling Hyungwon into his embrace and petting at his hair. The guilt is laced through his voice, and Jooheon has to hold back another sigh. These two just make a mess of everything without even trying… They really do belong together.

“Give him a couple days to cool off,” Jooheon suggests, “and I’ll talk to him. Kihyunnie can explain to him, since it’s technically his fault… no offense.”

“None taken,” Kihyun tells Jooheon, glancing up at him distractedly. Jooheon’s shoulders fall a bit, really just glad for  _ that _ part of things to be over. Kihyun and Hyungwon are together… Now, once Minhyuk finally calms down, everything will be perfect.


	24. Chapter 24

Kihyun sits in the same cafe he’d sat in what seems so long ago when he first got back, tapping his thumbs anxiously against the cup of americano a few days later. He kneads the inside of his cheek between his molars, waiting on Minhyuk to walk in. He has half a suspicion that Minhyuk won’t even come, that Minhyuk will stay mad at him and Hyungwon forever. Of course, he just can’t allow that. Minhyuk being mad at him he can handle, but Hyungwon’s been a wreck since the wedding. He can’t let his boyfriend live like this. No matter what it takes, he’ll remove all the stresses from Hyungwon’s life. He deserves that much.

The bell above the door dings, and Kihyun glances up to find Minhyuk finally sauntering in. He’s scowling hard, and he doesn’t bother going to order a drink before slumping into the chair in front of Kihyun. He crosses his arms over his chest, slouching in his seat. He raises a defiant brow, eyes so uninterested as Kihyun tries for a nervous smile.

“Thanks for showing up,” Kihyun says softly, and Minhyuk scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“ _ I’m _ not a liar,” Minhyuk snaps at him, tilting his head to the side. “Now, what is it you want to say?”

“I want to apologize,” Kihyun answers, pursing his lips in dismay. “I didn’t mean for this to get so blown up… We were going to tell you after the wedding.”

“And I wouldn’t have known you were lying? That Hyungwon was lying?” Minhyuk prompts, and Kihyun has to bite back a sigh.

“You can be angry at me, Min,” Kihyun tells him, growing tired of being careful with his words, “but don’t be mad at Wonnie. He doesn’t deserve it.”

“Did you hold a gun to his head and force him to lie to my face?” Minhyuk asks, his tone dry. “Did you somehow blackmail him into agreeing to break a promise he and I made when we were ten to  _ never _ lie to each other, for anyone or anything??” Kihyun frowns, his brow furrowing, and Minhyuk shakes his head. “Why’d  _ you _ want him to lie, then, if you’re willing to throw yourself on the fire like that?”

“I was scared,” Kihyun explains, shrugging. “I wanted us to get used to being  _ us _ again before we got everyone’s well wishes.” He pauses, huffing out a small breath of his own through his nose before he adds, somewhat sheepish, “I didn’t want us to get back together only to break up again and everyone to be all sad for us again.”

“That’s bullshit, but okay,” Minhyuk scoffs. Kihyun’s gaze narrows at Minhyuk’s attitude, and the other only shrugs. “We’re here to  _ support _ you both, Ki. And you pay us back by lying not just to me, but all of us??  _ That’s _ some bullshit.”

“It wasn’t right, I agree,” Kihyun relents, his chest feeling heavy. He just feels like he’s messing this up even more when all he wanted to do was clean. “I know it was a mistake now.”

“Because you got caught,” Minhyuk points out, and Kihyun’s grip tightens on his cup despite himself.

“If that’s what you want to believe, then yes,” Kihyun answers, and Minhyuk gives a humorless, raspy laugh.

“Typical,” Minhyuk says, standing from his chair. “You’re not sorry you did it, you’re just sorry you’re being called out for your stupidity. You know how I knew before I even got sent that article by mistake? Why it was so easy to put together? Because Hyungwon couldn’t even look me in the eye for two weeks… He’s like a brother to me, Kihyun, and you made him betray my trust. That’s fucked up.”

“It was a  _ mistake _ ,” Kihyun insists, standing as well to keep Minhyuk’s attention. He won’t let Minhyuk leave until this is resolved, no matter how aggravating a conversation this is. “I’m human, and I fuck up sometimes. That’s just how it goes. I fuck up and I make a mess and I ruin things, but I do my best to make up for it after and to not do it again.”

“Funny,” Minhyuk notes, regarding Kihyun coldly, “I didn’t think you knew that. You bluff and lie so much these days, I didn’t think you were still aware you were just like the rest of us.”

“Nice,” Kihyun says, shaking his head. “Real nice.”

“Back at you,” Minhyuk spits at him, and he turns to leave the cafe. Kihyun hurries after him, grabbing him by the forearm and pulling him to a stop on the sidewalk.

“I’m  _ not _ letting you leave until you talk to Hyungwon again,” Kihyun tells him honestly, scowling openly at Minhyuk now. Minhyuk seems a bit surprised at that, blinking unevenly. “I told you,” Kihyun goes on to say, “I don’t give two shits if you ever forgive me, but this is killing Hyungwon, and I’m not letting you put him through the ringer. We’re resolving this right here, right now, and you’re going to forgive him and move past this. I love him too much to see him in this kind of pain.”

Minhyuk’s eyes flit over Kihyun’s form, as if assessing him in some way. He blinks unevenly, the seconds ticking by before he pulls out his phone and types something. Kihyun frowns, putting a hand on his hip as he watches silently. Minhyuk doesn’t say anything, just holds out the phone to show a screen of messages between him and Hyungwon. The latest one has just been sent a second ago.

_ ur bf is annoying af. i may steal from his brand and stab him in the back _

Minhyuk lifts a brow as if to say “is this enough?” and turns on his heel to walk away before waiting for a response.

“So you forgive him??” Kihyun asks for confirmation, raising his voice to be heard over the growing distance between them. 

“I would’ve eventually, anyway,” Minhyuk says without turning around, “we’re like brothers.” he raises a hand in a halfhearted wave as he walks off. Kihyun sighs, relief flooding him as he watches the other walk away. 

When Kihyun gets home that night after work, Hyungwon is over the moon. He’s back to his usual self, cuddling just to cuddle without any need of solace, put together despite the bagginess of his casual clothes. He’s even looking at pictures of kittens and puppies on his phone, cooing over them all. Kihyun can’t help how happy he is to see Hyungwon like this again, so bright and cute and carefree. He slides in beside him as Hyungwon absently stirs some leftover soup from a couple nights ago, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Min wants to stab you, it’s pretty funny,” Hyungwon reports, noticeably relaxing into Kihyun’s hold. Kihyun snickers, shaking his head and staring at the pictures of animals needing homes. 

“Good luck trying,” Kihyun comments, growing distracted by all the babies. A ball of white fluff passes, and Kihyun at first thinks it's an ad for linens. He reaches up to scroll back to it, making a noise of surprise at seeing it’s a pup. A bichon frise pup… whatever breed that is. 

“Malsukkie~” Hyungwon coos at the screen, and Kihyun surprisedly looks up into Hyungwon’s eyes. The affection and love there, all for a dog he hasn’t even met… God, he loves this man so much.

“Wanna go adopt him tomorrow?” Kihyun asks, earning an airy, high-pitched laugh of disbelief from his boyfriend. Though, when he doesn’t join in the younger’s laughter, Hyungwon looks at him with an air of disbelief. His eyes are big and wide and sparkling with some hidden desire, some buried wish that Kihyun’s almost tapped on. Kihyun squeezes Hyungwon affectionately, the softest of smiles coming to him. 

“Are you serious…?”

“100%,” Kihyun assures him, and Hyungwon almost drops his phone in the pot of soup in surprise. He doesn’t drop the spoon, though, as he wraps his arms around Kihyun’s neck in a tight hug of gratitude. Kihyun can almost  _ see _ the drops of soup fall in slow motion onto the floor behind him, but he bites his tongue. He’s just made Hyungwon happy, and that’s enough for him… He hugs Hyungwon back even tighter, closing his eyes as he just enjoys the moment.


	25. Chapter 25

Hyungwon stirs awake, eyes opening to the brightness of a new day. He hums softly in his throat, turning onto his back as he rubs at his eyes. He hears the faint sound of Kihyun singing drift in from a different room, and his heart does a little dance. He presses a hand to his chest, unable to keep from smiling…  _ This _ is how he should wake up every morning. He doesn’t even hesitate to get out of bed, only making a pitstop in the bathroom before shuffling off, using Kihyun’s angelic voice as a guide.

He finds the older in the kitchen, his shoulders hunched forward slightly as he sings. Hyungwon’s smile only grows, and he straightens his glasses as he leans against the wall to watch. Kihyun glances towards him, as if feeling him near, his smile growing impossibly wide. He turns around, away from the stove, a wooden spoon in one hand and Malsuk curled up against his chest in his free arm. Hyungwon coos, moving closer. He gently takes Malsuk out of Kihyun’s arms and cradles him in his own, kissing the top of his head.

“Someone wore himself out on his morning walk,” Kihyun explains, his tone so soft and affectionate as he glances between Malsuk and Hyungwon. Hyungwon only hums, petting the pup’s tiny head and watching so affectionately how he wags his tail despite his low energy.

“Think he’ll stay in bed if I put him there?” Hyungwon asks, his tone soft to keep from disturbing Malsuk. Kihyun shakes his head, giving Hyungwon a knowing look.

“Absolutely not,” Kihyun answers easily before turning back to the stove to continue making breakfast. “He’s learning to be as clingy as you for attention, so he’s just gonna waddle out and come find us. Just keep him with you, and he’ll sleep better when we leave.” Hyungwon snickers, leaning to give Kihyun a kiss to the temple before moving to the couch. He lies down there, petting Malsuk on the head and watching as the pup stares with eyes he seems barely able to keep open. Kihyun joins him a few minutes later, moving Hyungwon’s feet to sit down and chow down on some toast and eggs.

Hyungwon peers over at him, still petting Malsuk on the back. His heart grows so big it feels it’ll burst from his chest as he sees his entire family in a single glance— 

He gulps thickly at the phrase  _ his family _ passing through his mind… Of course he’s always known in the back of his head Kihyun to be  _ the one _ , but now that they’ve adopted together it makes them feel all the more real. He doesn’t realize he’s staring, drifting off into nothing, until Kihyun glances distractedly at him with toast crumbs over his lips. Hyungwon has to bite back a laugh for Malsuk’s sake, not wanting to disturb him.

“Ah~” Hyungwon says, his lilt teasing. “Malsukkie, what am I supposed to do with your Papa Ki…? He’s so messy sometimes.” Kihyun seems frozen for a moment at being referred to in the paternal sense, the tips of his ears going red in an instant. Hyungwon snickers, and Kihyun’s gaze narrows. He sets the plate down on the coffee table and crawls over to lie down beside Hyungwon. Hyungwon moves to make room, his heart pounding.

“Don’t let your Papa Won lie to you, Malsuk,” Kihyun teases back, his eyes glittering with that special kind of love Hyungwon feels so lucky to have found and gotten back into his life. “ _ He’s _ the messy one, as I’m sure you know…” He lets Kihyun settle before speaking again, using the older’s chest as a pillow.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he asks, his voice dreamy. Kihyun laughs, the mirth causing his chest to rise and fall. 

“Not enough, obviously,” Kihyun teases. Hyungwon pouts, glancing up at Kihyun only to find him beaming from ear to ear. Kihyun dips his head down for a kiss, and Hyungwon meets him halfway. Kihyun kisses him again, and again, but before he can kiss Hyungwon for a third time Malsuk whines as if to remind the couple he’s still there. Hyungwon makes a soft noise of sympathy, pulling Malsuk up closer to his neck and letting the puppy rest there. Kihyun’s sigh sounds wistful as it slips from his lips. The older returns his attention to the tv, but Hyungwon just keeps watching him. It’s one of his favorite things to do.

Later that day, Hyungwon and Kihyun leave their boy home to rest up and head down to the diner that used to be their number one hangout place in high school. They enter the establishment hand in hand, and Kihyun immediately tugs the younger over towards the usual corner booth the others seem to have already managed to snag. Hyungwon almost feels like he’s walking through the folds of time, all his friends suddenly looking like they did back in the day. And his Kihyun, with his thick-rimmed glasses and perfectly-ironed school uniform… He’s always been just that: perfect.

Kihyun slides into the booth, pulling Hyungwon in beside him. Hyungwon doesn’t hesitate to cuddle up close to Kihyun’s side, earning a small laugh from his boyfriend.

“How’s the kid doing?” Jooheon asks almost instantly. “Did he like the new toy I got him? Does he need more treats yet? I found this new brand that—”

“Malsuk’s just fine,” Kihyun reports, waving off Jooheon’s prattling. “He wore himself out this morning, so he’s probably napping.” Hyungwon’s chest warms at how Jooheon seems to ease, the younger really playing the best doting uncle on the planet. He’s already bought Malsuk so many toys just in the last three weeks that he’s been with Kihyun and Hyungwon, and Hyungwon couldn’t be more grateful.

“How’re Yoshi and Gucci?” Hyungwon asks, hugging onto Kihyun’s arm a bit tighter. Jooheon sighs over his twin kittens, seeming to be the happiest man in existence as Gunhee leans into him. 

“They’re amazing,” Gun and Jooheon answer simultaneously, earning a small laugh from the rest of the table. Jooheon kisses Gunhee on the cheek at that, small eyes sparkling. 

“How was the honeymoon, lovebirds?” Minhyuk pipes in, turning the attention towards the recently-returned, newly-married Hoseok and Changkyun. Hoseok gives the biggest, happiest sigh Hyungown thinks he’s ever heard.

“It was everything we wanted it to be~” Hoseok answers, beaming from ear to ear with the gummy smile that makes him still look fifteen. Hyungwon can’t help the small laugh that escapes him at seeing it, absently playing with Kihyun’s fingers under the table.

“How’re things with you, hyung?” Changkyun asks, looking expectantly at Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. Minhyuk shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee and glancing pointedly to Hyunwoo.

“We’re in the process of looking for surrogates to have children,” Hyunwoo reports as if he’s only reading off a list of nutritional facts. Hyungwon straightens up at that, looking at Minhyuk in utter shock.

“Holy shit!” Hyungwon exclaims, his jaw dropping. He remembers Minhyuk mentioning this a couple days prior, but he’d honestly thought he was joking. “You were serious???”

“I told you,” Kihyun comments under his breath, the waitress coming up and pouring them glasses of water. Kihyun takes a drink, Hyungwon still staring at Minhyuk in surprise.

“I want descendants,” Minhyuk says simply, shrugging a shoulder as he sets his coffee mug down. Kihyun and Changkyun snicker at this, and Jooheon’s eyes go shockingly wide, his face twisting a bit.

“Descendants?? That sounds pretty weird, hyung.”

“Why does that sound weird?” Minhyuk asks, scoffing almost playfully. “You know what’s weird? The fact that I’m going to have to pay a stranger to have mine and Hyunwoo’s children! It’s homophobic!”

“Not everything that works against you is homophobic, Min,” Kihyun tells him, rolling his eyes despite the fond light there.

“You know what, Ki? You’re right, it’s biphobic.”

“Since everyone is doing good,” Gunhee pipes in, drawing everyone’s attention back to him and Jooheon, “we have some news…” He glances towards Jooheon almost playfully, and Jooheon bumps his shoulder for him to go on, his ears turning red. Gun seems about ready to burst, showing off his pearly whites as he announces, “We’re getting married next week, and you’re all invited!!!” The table gasps, and Minhyuk leans halfway across the table with a narrowed gaze, seeming personally offended, before Jooheon waves a hand.

“Don’t worry, Min, we’re eloping,” he says, shaking his head knowingly. Hyungwon can’t help how he looks to Kihyun then, honestly kind of having forgotten eloping was a thing… Now, there’s an option for when the day comes. Not that Minhyuk or their mothers would be very happy about it. Maybe an elopement just for them, and then their families and friends can just come to a party after? Hyungwon sighs dreamily, liking the idea of that.

“Next week, huh?” Kihyun asks, his brow lifting. “Where are you guys going to do it? The courthouse or…?”

“We’re taking a trip,” Jooheon explains, going into all the minute details. Hyungwon only half listens, though, daydreaming about his own wedding with Kihyun one day… Their families will be there, and their friends will, too. Maybe they can arrange it so that Malsuk can be carried in on a pillow with the rings on his collar? That surely wouldn’t be too outlandish. Huh, maybe they should do a traditional wedding, after all?

Hyungwon feels Kihyun squeeze his knee under the table, and he glances out of the corner of his eye in time to catch Kihyun’s loving smile. Kihyun absently gives Hyungwon a kiss to his cheek, and the younger relaxes against him once more. It’s taken them so long to get here… 

But, Hyungwon feels like he can finally say that it’s all finished. No more breakups, even when they do fight again. It’s bound to happen, of course. But, he isn’t naive anymore, and he knows that couples don’t have to break up as soon as they fight like he had thought back in the day. He has his Kihyunnie and his Malsuk and all his friends are settled and happy… Yeah. He feels as if it’s all done now. 

And he couldn’t envision a better ending than this~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow.... I don't think I've finished a fic of this length so fast since 2017 😂😂 While I've been very excited about finishing this fic (and this series), now I'm just Sad ^^; This ending has been a long time coming, and I'm so SO very thankful to everyone who's been with this universe <333333 Every kudo, comment, and hit helped me push forward and write these stories!!!!! Your patience with me, as well, has really humbled me 😢
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the ending, and that it was worth the wait! I'm going to be taking a short hiatus (only a week) for finals this week, so I wanted to be sure this was up before that! I have a couple of one shots planned for this universe (like JooGun's first date and POSSIBLY Hyungki's wedding), but other than that this is the end... Thanks again to everyone for cheering me on and helping me get here 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 I love y'all loads, and I'll see you guys in the next fics!
> 
> PS: I'm participating in Hyungwon Bingo this year, so please anticipate that~ 💖

**Author's Note:**

> Any kudos/comments are always appreciated!!! <3333 Follow me on Twitter @hyungkistan1


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